The Year Of...

The air was swirling with the hints of cinnamon and apples. The tiny kitchen was crowded with party guests, all huddling around the petite kitchen table which overflowed with homemade appetizers and goodies. In the center of table sat the night's prized possession; a freshly baked apple pie complete with birthday candles in the center. It was November 2017 and we had all gathered around the celebrate Heather's birthday.

Heather loved throwing parties and as a semi-professional pastry chef enjoyed cooking for all of her friends. The room was a mix of recently graduated college students and soon to be graduates. Heather and I had attended the same college in Chicago and her loving personality brought together a warm group of people.

Over the course of the evening I migrated from conversation to conversation, until I found myself confronted by a harsh reality that I had frankly been denying since graduation. As the party was drawing towards a close I found myself chatting casually with a fellow recent grad.

Ethan had studied theatrical set design in school, and when I inquired if he had any projects currently in the works his response floored me. Ethan began listing off the shows he was currently working on or just wrapping up. In total he was juggling 7 shows plus two jobs. Then he looked at me and said: "what are you working on?"

My throat became horse, my palms got sweaty and my heart started racing through my chest. As I searched for some eloquent response nothing came to me, so I merely muttered "well I have a few projects I'm looking to start."

That night on my walk home I kept replaying the conversation over and over in my head. Asking myself:"why was I not doing anything exciting?" "What was holding me back from being like Ethan?" I had so many ideas swirling through my head, projects I wanted to start, businesses I wanted to build. Yet here I was doing absolutely nothing. Then out of nowhere it hit me. I was afraid. Fear was holding me back. Fear was stopping me from being like Ethan.

As soon as I got home I pulled out my journal and started drawing up plans. "What if I spent all of next year working on being fearless?" Yes! I'll do "A Year Of No Fear." I'll start the blog I've been wanting to write. I'll say yes more often. I'll explore my interests and I'll start creating fearlessly!

When January rolled around I did something radically different to kickstart the New Year. Instead of writing out a laundry list of resolutions (that were definitely doomed to fail.) I sat down and wrote a yearly theme: The Year of No Fear. Then I took some time and journaled on what does a year of no fear mean to me?

For the next 365 days my goal each day was to live fearlessly. It was focused enough to set goals for myself, yet it was flexible enough to adapt to the ever changing world.

Over the course of that year I took massive steps forward in my life. I was fearless and quit a job that I absolutely hated. I was fearless and signed up for a lip sync battle (and won!) I was fearless in my pursuits of learning to love my body. And the biggest fear I faced was the fear of entrepreneurship.

In 2018 I finally said yes to my dreams of starting my own business and began the incredibly difficult road of becoming my own boss and starting my own coaching business!

By the end of 2018 my life had drastically evolved. I had gone from the guy who was always saying "I want to do this someday" to the guy who just started taking action.

However the biggest change that took place that year was I no longer tried to start the year off with a ridiculously long list of unrealistic resolutions. Instead I chose to create a yearly theme. And I was curious to see what would happen if I created a yearly theme for 2019.

2019 became the "Year Of Reset." After diving head first into the coaching business I knew without a doubt of uncertainty that I had found the career that I loved. So I told myself it's time to hit reset on your life and go all in with the coaching business. I packed up my belongings and did the one thing I said I'd never do: I moved home.

8 days into 2019 my life was about to get a major reset when my dad decided to just pack up and leave in the middle of the night. Days later I found out the reason that he left was because he and my mom were struggling with a crystal meth addiction. My entire life imploded right before my eyes. And 2019 truly became the year of a reset.

At the end of 2019 I found myself completely distanced from my coaching business. I had spent the entire year dealing with the aftermath of my parent's addiction. Yet my heart was tugging at me to continue my coaching business pursuits. So when it came to setting my 2020 theme I naturally turned towards my top priority: my business. And I declared 2020 "The Year of All-In."

In March of 2020 I said yes to myself and my business by truly going all-in. I quit my day job and set out to build my coaching empire. Less than two weeks after going all-in the world shut down, as our society was plagued by the Coronavirus. Cities began to shut down, business began to close. Yet here I was still adamantly going all-in with my coaching business.

The world was suffering and they needed some positivity. They need a ray of sunshine amongst the cloudy skies of 2020. So I stayed focused. I kept trying, I kept showing up, and I kept being fearless in my pursuits of "coachapreneurship." And eventually the business started to gain traction. I started to land clients. Life started to manifest as I had been dreaming about!

I'm writing this not as a way to self-promote or to come across as self-indulgent. I'm writing this to share that there is other ways to approach the new year. Resolutions don't stick and resolutions typically stem from a place of hate, fear or insecurity. Typically resolutions don't lift you up, but rather weigh you down.

Three years ago when I stated that 2018 was going to be my "year of no fear" I had no idea what that meant. I just wanted to be curious. I was looking for a way to push myself outside of my comfort zone. I was looking for a way to approach the new year without having to set unrealistic resolutions.

Three years later it's now 2021 and our world looks a lot different than it did when 2020 started. We are still fighting a pandemic. The world still remains very closed off to travelers. It's a different time to be alive, yet we are still setting the same resolutions. Why?

I've come to learn that like great literature life is like a series of little novellas. Each year it's own story with it's own unique theme. So I'm curious what is your 2021 theme going to be? What novella do you want to write this year?

For me 2021 is "The Year of What If?" "What if I finish the book I've been writing?" "What if I actually grow my business this year?" "What if my podcast takes off?" I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring, but I do know that I can continue to show up for myself in every area of my life. I can still be curious. And I still have the power to ask "what if...?"

***Note: For privacy reasons names have been changed***