I have spent years working on stories that I want to make into a book.
At the moment I am World Building.
I have a LOT of notes and have done a LOT of work but I am sometimes waylaid by stress, doubts and my health.
I keep working on it though and I HOPE someday to actually finish a book and more than one really...a series of books.
The wordle above is a list of the words that represent parts of me and inspire me to write, think, feel and grow and keep trying.
Right now I have worked out three parts I have to work on to get any sense to be made History Past, History Middle and Story Now.
I've got a LOT of Story Now figured out but now I am working on finding out the whens, whys and hows of how we got to the here and now.
I have SOME of History Middle sorted out.
But History Past is making my head spin!
The words that keep me going are:
PHOENIX: A creature who rises from the ashes anew.
HOPE: might be, could be, what if...maybe
TRANSFORMATION: become more than you are today, evolve, grow, renew
MAGIC: the power to influence events using mysterious forces
QUEEN: EVERY woman is a queen
and GODDESS: EVERY woman is a goddess
Every day these words give me power and strength and hope for what comes around the corner.
Even amidst the doubt.
A rain day is necessary but there is always sunshine after the rain so...
Keep on Keeping on!
The ONLY person who can write this story is ME!
Well, I doubt that is true but, ONLY I can write MY version of it.
I believe in it.
The only trouble I have is that I don't always believe in ME.
THAT is my trouble. That is where the doubt comes in.
I HAVE decided that the only answer to the doubt and fear is to WORK.
No matter how slow.
No matter how many steps backwards instead of forwards I take.
Every step forward is a MIRACLE!
And my answer to Yoda's "Do or Do Not. There is NO try."
Is... Shut up Yoda! My WHOLE world is TRY!
EVERY DAY is a new chance, a new HOPE, the potential for TRANSFORMATION, the ability to BE more than I was yesterday.
Every day is an opportunity for new ideas and understandings.
How can you ever find those if you give up?
So the answer is to keep TRYING. Keep WORKING. Keep learning.
One day you will realize that YOU are the PHOENIX every time you learn something new and become something new.
You rise from the ashes of the OLD you!
BELIEVE and TRY.
Two more words that are part of my life.
I sometimes struggle with BELIEVING and in moments of doubt am tempted to quit but TRYING anyway is important.
If you take six steps and quit how will you ever realize all that comes on the eighth step? Maybe that is the MOMENT!
Every tiny step forward is still a step!
So you can NEVER win if you don't even at least TRY!
It took me a LONG time to get here and sometimes I wonder if the time before now has been a waste but I tell myself that every step forward and back ward and choice and decision brought me to HERE. It's not a waste. It was all necessary to bring me to this place and time where I now BELIEVE different things and have grown more confident and more able to TRUST myself.
I still DOUBT but I don't let it stop me. I might take a break and do something else for awhile...regroup, recharge and then...
Slow and steady wins the race!
Eventually I WILL write my books and share the beautiful, vibrant, full story that lives inside of me.
HOPE people will embrace it!