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The three circles of happiness

Research suggests that the most important factor in determining happiness lies within ourselves. By taking steps to improve yourself as a person, your relationships with others, and your pursuit of meaning in life, you can increase your sense of well being.

By Courtanae HeslopPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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Happiness is a subjective state of mind and is not dependent on external circumstances. While it's easy to believe that other people and possessions make us happy, research suggests that the most important factor in determining happiness lies within ourselves. By taking steps to improve yourself as a person, your relationships with others, and your pursuit of meaning in life, you can increase your sense of well being and live more happily every day.

The three circles of happiness

In his book The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor recommends a three-circle model for happiness that lays out how you can increase your happiness.

The first circle is about you and includes how you think and feel about yourself, as well as your values: “You have to build a life in which the things that are important are also easy.” The second circle is about your relationships with others: “Think of all the people who have shaped who you are. Think of all the people whose lives would be better if they knew them better." The third circle is about purpose: “Show up each day with a sense of meaning and purpose."

The first circle: yourself.

The first circle you'll want to draw is for yourself. This is perhaps the most important step, as it allows you to increase your happiness by taking care of yourself and making sure that all of your needs are met.

You can do this by being aware of what makes you happy, then doing things that make you happy. Perhaps it's getting a massage or going out with friends; maybe it's spending some time in nature or reading a good book. Whatever brings you joy and makes life worth living, make sure that those activities are part of your schedule every week (or day!).

Self-confidence also plays into this circle—and self-confidence comes from being honest with yourself about who you are as an individual, where your passions lie, and what makes life worth living for YOU specifically! Make sure that no matter how busy life gets (as it always will), there's still time allotted each week to spend on what matters most: YOU!

The second circle: your relationships with others.

Research shows that the quality of our relationships is a major contributor to happiness, and this is true no matter what stage of life we are in. For example, people who are married report being happier than they were before they got married (not surprising). But even within the first year after marriage, couples have an increased level of happiness compared to their single counterparts. And people who are divorced or separated report greater levels of depression than those who remain married or never married. Similarly, children seem to benefit from having strong bonds with their parents; studies show that children whose parents divorce score lower on measures related to social competence and self-esteem than those whose parents stay together.[1]

The third circle: the purposeful pursuit of meaning and purpose in life.

  • Purpose in life. We are driven by a sense of purpose, which is why we seek jobs that fulfill us and communities that give us meaning. When we don't find it, we feel lost and empty.
  • Meaning in life. The need to understand what matters most is so strong that when people experience loss or trauma, they often feel as though their lives have no purpose at all; they've lost the "why" behind their existence after suffering something like divorce or personal tragedy. It's important to keep this need for meaning present in your mind as you work through your own challenges—perhaps by asking yourself why you're going through them and how they'll help you grow as a person later on down the road (more on this below).
  • Community: As humans evolved over time, survival came down to being able to rely on one another for support—and nowadays there are many ways for us all get together with other people who share similar goals or interests: from sports teams to religious groups and more! The key here is finding groups where everyone has something useful/meaningful to offer each other while also recognizing their own individual strengths/weaknesses within those groups (so if you're great at organizing things but terrible at being outdoorsy then maybe next time don't go hiking unless someone else knows how).
  • A larger cause: Recognizing how interconnected we truly are helps us see ourselves not just as individuals but also part of something much bigger than ourselves (or even our families). This awareness was most recently brought home during 9/11 when so many strangers were willing toward helping each

True happiness is found within yourself, in your relationships with others, and by contributing meaningfully to the world.

The key to increasing happiness is to focus on what you can control. This can be done by practicing gratitude, reframing negative thoughts, and making a conscious effort to enjoy the present moment. However, it's important to remember that true happiness comes from within yourself, in your relationships with others, and by contributing meaningfully to the world around you.

Conclusion

It’s not easy to be happy, but it is possible. So, if you want to increase your own happiness and that of others around you, take these seven simple steps. The first step is recognizing that true happiness comes from within yourself, in your relationships with others and by contributing meaningfully to the world around you. Once you know this, it will be easier for you to act on those principles and make choices that reflect those values—and when we do this as individuals, we can bring about real change for ourselves and others!

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About the Creator

Courtanae Heslop

Courtanae Heslop is a multi-genre writer and business owner.

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