The Mountains

They could not be more apparent if they tried. Relentless on the horizon. You see the mountains take shape from many miles away. My hands start to feel hot and sweaty, and impatience settles into my spirit, at the same time a sense of calm and tranquility floods over me. It is as though I am returning home, to a place I never knew.

My back is aching already, I drove eight hours straight yesterday, took a ferry across the ocean, slept in my car in one of the most beautiful little valleys I’ve ever seen, right next to an old railway line that crossed the river. The fog in the morning, clinging to the ground like a moth to a flame, gives everything an incredibly special quality.

I left early, just as the sun was rising, and drove through the valley for another four hours. This is where the mountains truly begin, the last few hours the sights along the way have been so magnificent that they fool you into thinking you have already arrived.

They tower over and above you like the largest of skyscrapers, the most massive thing you have ever seen. In all directions, you are encompassed by mountain peaks, snow-covered and diverse but always huge. So huge there are no words that can represent their size.

I pull my car over between two of these epic beasts and step out into the fresh air. Wildflowers coat the ground around me, clouds move in magical formations around the mountains, hugging their edges as if to give a final embrace goodbye.

I’m here. I’m present. I feel a weight lift from my shoulders. This was it, I have officially taken the steps I never thought I would.

I learned some valuable life lessons early on. It’s not that I attempt to make mistakes more frequently than others, it's just that I go after what I want with haste, and in doing so learn from the lessons dealt out.

When I was growing up, I tried to pursue status, fame, and money.

I wanted the business card with my own name on it, I wanted the nice house and fancy car and surround sound system, I wanted the title and the respect and the paycheck that was associated with it.

By the age of 25, I had it all. A successful career, big digit salary, nice car, happy wife. The problem was the not-so-happy life. It lacked meaning. It was grey, mundane. Missing something. I didn’t know what it was, I mean I literally had it all, and I had worked bloody hard to get there.

That’s when I got laid off from work, company downsizing. That’s when I found my wife cheating on me. That’s when all the value I had built, all the priorities I had maintained, all fell to shit. Three of the four legs used to keep me standing upright had collapsed, the table that was my foundation ceased to be.

So what do you do when everything you were standing on breaks apart around you, you bloody well rebuild. One fucking brick at a time. You get to work, you start correcting your value system to better understand why you prioritized the wrong things in the first place.

You find something better to stand on so that next time you are better prepared. You step back, become more vulnerable and toughen up.

You become a better friend to yourself.

Here I am now, alone, jobless, homeless, happier than I’ve ever been. I stand on my own two feet, and I do have a job, my job is to find my path, whatever it takes. I also have a home, earth is my home, I can lay my head anywhere.

I do not know where this will take me, how long it will take or what the journey will entail along the way. I do know, however, that I have begun the first steps in the right direction, finally.

Never be afraid to take a chance.