The Mind Detective

The truth about your life, your mistakes, your coping mechanisms, the dark, hidden side of yourself buried in your unconscious, hidden behind the mask, the persona, the ego is what causes anxiety, fear, and then depression. Therapy is all about gently peeling back this mask, being brave enough to face it, heal it, and then let go of it, so you can build a solid character and become the authentic person you started out as, as a child. We are not born with fear, pain, insecurities, depression, anxieties, these are all symptoms of what we experience, our circumstances, our culture, our conditioning growing up.

Becoming an independent thinker with your own values, options, and truth without worrying about what other people think about you, basically standing up for yourself, stops you from being a people pleaser and makes you a leader. It’s a long, lonely road when you go against the pack; but unfortunately, it is the only road to take if you want to find true happiness without relying on money, stuff, or other people.

Once I reached the top of the money mountain; rich, powerful, successful, and accomplished, with my own global headhunting firm in the City of London (miles away from the council estate and my painful childhood), I finally had it all. My dream came true. I had everything money could buy.

But I was empty inside, spiritually bankrupt, and a stranger in my own life. I was a powerful ego. A huge persona with a mask to die for, but I had no connection to the real me, the dyslexic child buried inside under all the lies, the pain, and the flakiness of my imagined success.

This was a shock for me, to realize I had the money, the success, the lifestyle, the materialistic-driven dream, but I was lonely, unfulfilled, greedy, selfish, and driven only by status.

Losing all my money overnight initially was not too bad; in fact, in a way, it was a relief because it had not made me happy and starting again was kind of exciting. This feeling soon changed when I realised my status without the money was gone. I couldn’t open any doors in LA, I couldn’t operate. I felt like a loser. One evening, all alone in LA, my negative thoughts, my fear of what others would think, and my stupid mistakes all came over me in like one massive tsunami moment. I was anxious, depressed, alone, afraid, embarrassed, and hopeless. This I now know to be what dark depression feels like. You cannot move; you are crushed and overwhelmed beyond belief. On this dark lonely evening, I attempted suicide to escape myself; not the real me, but the person I had become.

Thankfully I did not manage to do it; I drank too much tequila and didn’t take enough pills to finish me off. The following day, I went for a walk on Hermosa beach and sat by the ocean watching the sunrise, and this was when I felt true gratitude for the first time in my life. I was grateful to be alive and everything looked so different. This is the reason, today, why I know suicide is never the answer, no matter how dark the situation gets.

I have discovered, through my own life-changing experience, that to heal, we must question our true, authentic nature and take steps to align our lifestyle to the circumstances where we can feel connection, acceptance, and purpose. This leads us to experience greater peace and joy. It does not matter where we are right now, by being brave enough to really look at our current circumstances and make assessments about where we are at, if we can accept what we see as it is and continually focus on improving our higher qualities and attributes, I know now we can overcome anything.

Understanding how the mind works, how your body works, is the first step to becoming a Mind Detective. The Mind Detective book is dedicated to Carl Jung, a genius who I believe understood how we work perfectly and somebody who helped me recover and reinvent myself after near-death and personal catastrophe. He taught me that somewhere inside me was the real me, the authentic, independent thinking whole me with my good bad and ugly bits. He made me realize I was useless and empty without my purpose. He taught me about embracing my shadow side, my dark side, all the ghost crammed in the closet of my mind.

As you become more present in the moment, self-aware and more sensitive to your own and others' feelings with their underlying concerns, worries, and fears that most of us experience, your natural kindness, compassion, and generosity are liberated. With this, a deep, inner strength and courage will develop. An open heart, balanced with common sense, good judgment, and self-honesty makes you the kind of person others will want to be around.