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The Illusion Of Failure

The Promises We Didn't Make, Calls For Rough Waters Ahead.

By Haley C.Published 3 years ago 3 min read
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Destin,FL 2018. Photographed by: Haley C.

"Well I guess I should just give up now," is the message we tell ourselves when we think we've failed. We seem to believe that if something doesn't go according to plan, or when we make a mistake.We believe we are failures and should just stop trying. The illusion that you have failed is due to a fear of upsetting others and or just not being the person you promised yourself to be. We all have big dreams and a set of goals that we want to accomplish. This doesn't mean all of those dreams and goals are going to be fulfilled.

As someone with ADHD I can say life isn't ever on an expected track, and nothing will really go according to plan. I have made many goals and plenty of lists, writing them all down on paper, I even made excel spreadsheets to see if that would boost my energy to full hp. Well I didn't regain the hp and I had to restart the game. The more we mash our buttons, the more we may fail, but we always find new combos to defeat the boss. In life there aren't any cheat sheets on how to kick the bosses butt, but hey, we learned from those mistakes and moved on.

We are all human, I know life isn't necessarily a game, but it can sometimes be comparable. I mean you definitely can't beat death, but I'm not talking about life and death situations. We seem to beat ourselves up as if we are in those types of situations. If you failed the exam last week, or you decided to major in subject you found you truly didn't want, it's ok. If the only way you see success is through high paying careers and jobs you aren't really to fond of, then are you truly succeeding? Isn't happiness and identity enough to be successful?

I can say that the only way to find true happiness is to look with in and remember who you are. You aren't who people tell you to be. You may think that this hasn't happened to you; but didn't you ever hide the thing you loved from your friends in school, because you over heard them say it wasn't cool, even though you as an individual actually did like that thing. Maybe those other kids didn't like the thing you did, but that is what separated you from the it crowd. It's ok to be "uncool" because sacrificing the things you truly believe in or care about just to fit in really isn't actually cool.

When you are easily influenced by others, you lose your identity. If anything is seen as failing it's not being you. It can be frustrating when you give up your happiness for the approval of others. If you truly look into your memories of all the times someone didn't truly acknowledge your individualism as being a cool thing, were those people truly your friends? A true friend will accept your likes and dislikes without judgement.

So when you see yourself making a mistake and judge yourself as a failure, just remember it's an illusion made of comments from past or recent memories from other people. If you let go of the expectations of others that have been ingrained into you, you will find peace and realize it's okay to be a failure in someone else's book. Your story doesn't need to match theirs, you have a different story to tell.

The people who made you feel like a failure aren't of importance when it changes your core beliefs. Don't chase after a life that isn't yours, go and keep trying to do what fits you. Go be a doctor, only if you truly want to, it's ok to be in the arts. Big houses and multiple cars aren't the true factors of success. Success goes way beyond fancy objects, success is about making way for your happiness. If those things are truly your passions go on and do that, but don't feel like a failure if you, "can't." There are so many things you can achieve, just keep following the yellow brick road, even when there are bumps along the way.

"Failure is an illusion of the voices from our pasts." - Haley C.

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About the Creator

Haley C.

Hello I'm Haley, I am a current college student. I plan to major in psychology and minor in music. I want to help people by becoming a music therapist. Hopefully I can utilize this platform to create helpful stories, and articles.

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