The happiness thief

A few days ago I had a really nice day planned; doing a Parkrun, seeing some friends, then going to a coffee festival. I went and enjoyed the day. A fun run, brilliant chats with friends, and some good coffee.

I arrived home in the evening in a happy mood. Pleased with how my day had been and intaking my fair share of caffeine.

But that was all ruined when I reached for my phone.

I looked on Instagram and saw brilliant moments. People were having meals out, completing incredible running races, or simply were sharing their business success. Anyhow all the achievements seem more momentous than mine.

I forgot how good my day was and started picking flaws at it.

Then the voices started…

‘I should’ve spent time working on my business’, ‘I don’t have friends just people who go to the events I go to’, ‘I’m not good enough’.

The demons are real and despite me not being the best at coping with them I think recognising the reality of a situation is a step in the right direction.

“Comparison is the thief of joy”- Theodore Roosevelt

Looking at this quote you may see where I’m heading with this. Social media is a catalyst for unhealthy comparison in my opinion.

The joy I had after my good day was stolen when I compared my life to that of social media.

And you might think, ah well all you have to do is acknowledge that it is a highlight reel. Well, I’m sorry but that is easier said than done. When I do something I go all in and for more going all-in on devices is not healthy.

So is the solution to bury our heads in the sand and not go on social media?

Well yes, and no.

I think the key thing to do is to learn more about yourself. What are your weakness, habits, and personality traits?

As someone who can be obsessive and very focused, this can be dangerous if it’s on the wrong thing. So I implement habits to counteract the comparison danger.

Taking into consideration (and perhaps my slight bias against social media due to my personality) I recognise the validity of keeping it for business uses. There are some people I can only contact through Instagram and I sometimes get people to message enquires through there.

Whatever, the case though I think it’s still worth taking a real think about the whole comparison thing. Has it become your vice? What does your screen time look like? Can you survive a day without your phone? If not cut it off.

My personal routine is to only use Instagram on my phone if I am posting. Other than that I just don’t like having any social media on my mobile device- meaningful connections are developed outside anyways. I can always check up on the computer but the more I detach the more I dislike the usage of it all.

Ultimately we all have some sort of mission or desire we are going after. Developing a relationship or family, creating a business, completing studies… or something completely different. Whatever the case, disappearing from social media (or going off them completely) to focus on what you care about is never going to be something you regret.

As with starting anything hard, you need to focus on why you are doing it and use that for motivation. So when it comes to social media and you see everyone on it when you are out with friends you must tell yourself you aren’t on it because you are developing a better sense of security in yourself. You want to be happier. You want to dedicate more time to things you care about. You aren’t a sheep.

The happiness thief is not a person, it’s a voice inside you. You can conquer it.