The Halfway Point

The start of 2020 was the first year in a while that I truly felt as if everything was going to be okay. I couldn't have been more wrong.

July marks a halfway point for this year.

When 2019 came to an end, I was more hopeful for the new year than I had been for any other year that had come before. I remember writing down the way that I had felt on new years day, and in my reflection for the year I had written, "2019 has been a year of growth and of spiritual reflection. Now, as we head into this new decade, I declare that 2020 is going to be the year of vision and manifestation." The only thing however that I feel has truly manifested is struggle and chaos.

But what that's not a bad a bad thing?

What if 2020 is the year we all actually have been waiting for?

2020 has felt as if it were a certain apocalyptic time of reckoning. But what if that is exactly what the world needs?

Day of Reckoning - The time when one is called to account for one's actions, to pay one's debts, or to fulfill one's promises or obligations. -Dictionary.com

America is known for being able to rebound from almost any situation. However, there is always a threshold for how many times you can bounce before the structural elasticity of society fails. This plague has not only done harm, but it has done the world good in exposing how prepared or ill prepared each nation is equipped to handle such issues. For America in particular, it has exposed the inadequacies of the country under a harsh spotlight. Americans are too stubborn to follow a temporary mask order, and are too selfish to self-isolate in solidarity for their older, more vulnerable citizens.

2020 was supposed to be different, but 6 months into the year and everything has gone wrong.

2020 was supposed to be the year that I was going to go out and start everything that I had planned for for years but instead we have seemed to only face struggle after struggle. Last year, 2019 was, for me at least, the year of spiritual growth. It was a time where I had started to gain an understanding of what drives me. 2020 was planned to be, and is still going to be the year of vision and of manifestation… but the vision is taking shape in a much different path than what I had expected. It is taking shape through the form of revolution.

Revolution - a sudden, complete or marked change in something

Today is July 1st. The halfway point of the year. And looking back at my goals for the year, many of them fell flat. Especially as once the quarantine kicked in, almost all motivation for me to stick to my goals just sorta…vanished. Also with the killing of George Floyd and worldwide protests, my mental health has all just been flushed down the toilet. I need a reset.

So now that we are halfway done with this year (thank god), everything has changed, and I have suddenly had a burst of motivation, Here are 6 goals that I want to accomplish by the end of this year. (One for each month! Yay).

• Develop and Launch my website. I have been working on my Squarespace website for a while now. I originally just was going to design and then launch it… but I have no idea how to design a website. But I then realized that it is free until launch if you go into developer mode. The other problem is that I have no idea how to develop a website. So I have decided that if I tool time to learn HTML, CSS and other necessities on how to build a website, I would have a fun challenge and possibly even a marketable skill. I really want to have my website up by the end of the year, so now I have a deadline. I think I can do it before then, but I have this habit where I start something, but when it doesn't come out perfectly after like 2 weeks, I give up. So I need to give myself time and space.

• Post on Social Media Consistently. Once you figure out how to use it methodically, seeing the growth and engagement with everyone fascinates me. Especially since I am fascinated by data. Social media is quickly becoming the resume of the future, and by getting a solid grasp on the power of social media and how to utilize it, one can get far ahead in terms of what someone can do.

• Language Learning. For I don't know how long, I have been fascinated by languages and I just want to learn how to speak to everyone that I can in a different language. Learning a new language unlocks a new part of the world, and exploring new ways to communicate fascinate me. I stopped learning languages for a while because of how much I disliked Spanish classes in schooling, but I have found a new method of learning that I feel is more efficient and enjoyable. I am choosing to learn Indonesian, and my goal is to be able to have a full conversation in the language by the years' end.

• Creativity. Recently, I have been having a hard time being creative. I don't know if it is just an effect of quarantine, but I just want to be a more creative person. I have a problem when being creative. When I go onto any platform with creative minds, I am so blown away that I get too scared to start. That is the whole reason why I have not been posting on my social media all that much, which is my goal number two on what I want to improve upon.

• Physical Fitness. At the beginning of this year, I was very happy with my level of physical fitness… Then the quarantine hit and caused the gyms to close. This paired with the fact that I had broken a bone in my hand, my motivation and physical capability to do much of anything was effectively ruined. It was awful. It also demotivated me from eating healthily because eating healthy is a lot of work and money. I plan on reawakening the beast of a human that resides within me and get back to my former glory.

• Finances. In order to function within society, money is a necessity. However, the grind of working a minimum wage job is so tiring and unrewarding that I feel more unhappy at work than I do anywhere else. Then I read the book "The Four Hour Work Week" by Tim Ferris. That book opened up my eyes to a whole world of possibilities, and with the internet, that world is more accessible than ever. The whole concept of making money online fascinates me, and just a couple of months ago I had made a whole $1000 online. It was very stressful, but it was so much fun and I want to do it again. If I can merge the two worlds of online and entrepreneurship, I can see a world where I can live doing something that I really enjoy.

2020 might have been a weird year so far, but that doesn't mean that it has to be cancelled. This year is bringing up so many ingrained issues within our society and exposing structural fallacies that have gone ignored for so long. And believe it or not it is doing the same to each of us too! This is still the year of vision and manifestation. You still have those goals that you had defined at the beginning of the year. Manifest that.