The Gift

The day was grey and wet, like so many other days before but today something was changed. With a quick look at the mirror Jane was decided, she put on the dark glasses and her worn red coat, today would be the day she would finally go outside again.

How did she come to be like this, she thought, she was happy before, but that memory was so distant she could no longer tell if it was a memory or a lie.

It all started when she was about nine years old, she went to visit her grandfather at the hospital after his surgery, when she went to say goodbye, she felt it. The overwhelming feeling of sadness and loss. The tears flushed her eyes and she knew it, she would never see her grandfather alive again.

And so it went, as the years went by this continued. Every time she felt it she knew it. She learned how to hide it well, after all, she couldn’t tell anyone. How could she tell someone that she was responsible for all those deaths. She was cursed, or so she believed. She started to avert her eyes, she believed that if she did not look at people, all would be well, they would live.

As she grew so did the gift, it started to happen more and more often, the sense of dread took over. She could not take it anymore. All this death. She started to withdraw from everyone, friends, family. If she didn’t see them they would be safe.

With the years eventually she became fully withdrawn from the world. Isolated at home, surviving on welfare benefits, on a vicious cycle of tv and bad food. She felt lost and alone, the sadness filled every inch of her body, but at least everyone would be safe she thought. After all, this was not a bad price to pay, a cursed woman should not be outside taking inocent lives.

Until that day, she woke up with this feeling of hope. Hope that there could be another way. She missed feeling the sun warming her skin, she missed the wind, how she missed the cold wind brushing her hair. She decided to try it once more, she would wear dark glasses and avert looking at people, she could do it, it would be safe is she didn’t look.

As she finished getting ready she grasped for her red coat, she stopped at her reflection in the mirror, she had aged, she could barely recognise herself. Her hair was turning grey and her skin pale, lines around her eyes and mouth, the once rosy cheeks now sullen and discoloured. She stared perplexed at herself, her blue top had a stain on near the collar, she had not notice before, the coat still fit her. She took her glasses off and cleaned them on the top, her eyes met their reflection in the mirror, she saw the same little girl she once was and a tear ran down her cheek.

She grabbed her keys, opened the two locks on the door, as the door creaked open she felt the air, warm and wet,it smelled of rain and wet flowers. She prepared to step out, one foot after the other she said to herself. As her body leaned forward she felt it, the tremendous sense of dread and sadness, the feeling she so well knew and felt so many times before. She looked around frantically, however, this time there was no one there but her. She looked once more as the feeling grew stronger. And then she saw it, her own reflection in the mirror. She removed her glasses, another tear traveled down her pale skin, and she stopped outside, finally free.