The Crazy Rambles

Let's just say multiple people can be in the same person.

They can pretend to be a million things. They can be a beautiful person that has their face painted on every day. They could be that person who bottles everything up. They are the ones that turn to alcohol and drugs just to get by and help them feel better.

They can be that pleaser, that always has to make sure that everybody else is happy, at the stake of losing themselves.

They can be that person who loses their self in the months of making everybody else happy.

We all try to live up to someone else's expectations. But we end up failing ourselves along the way. But who are we really trying to hide from? Are we hiding from ourselves? Are we hiding from family and friends?

Do we think that our performance is something that is going to go down in the record books? Something that will get you applause or a standing ovation?

Be the person that you are supposed to be. We are not alike, we are not made on an assembly line. We are made one by one for each other and the fact the matter, is it doesn't matter who you are, who you love, who you are meant to be. It matters on the fact if you're real and you lay it out on the table. If someone doesn't love you, someone doesn't think you're good enough, someone doesn't think you'll ever accomplish anything. Guess what you can prove them wrong by getting up and saying this is who I am you can take it or leave it. You can love me or not but the fact of the matter is you will be on the sidelines and you can watch me succeed. Because the best feeling in the world is showing them is, hey I've got this. I know what I'm doing and I will succeed and you have no power over that. I can be better, I can do better, but the fact of the matter is once you have hate in your heart and you judge people. You will never be that person that can get better because you've already lost the game.

All I can say is, I can believe in you and maybe we will understand why the way it was. Why I had to leave, why was this the way it ended? Why was the question of not the matter of who would win? But how we played the game and we both lost somehow. Why did it have to be this way?

You can take it or leave it. You can choose to run away, you can choose to hide, you can use a substance to get you by. You can use a person to get you by and keeping yourself because you think what is the point of living. What is the point of having that if you love that person you go be with that person? If you want that job then go out and apply for it. If you don't apply for it or embrace it then you are just gonna have those what ifs. You can learn that you can prove everybody wrong. Learn that you can do it, life is too short to play games, to pretend that you don't care because deep down that's just going to hurt you and everybody else around you that loves you. Take that step, take that jump, take that plane ticket, go on that trip, get on that boat. Learn how to do something that you've never done. Take a scary chance and risk it all because life is too valuable and just don't sit on the sidelines and pretend that life does it happen around us. Because life is beautiful and you aren't meant to do it alone.

All the thoughts running through my head. While I sit alone and think of you. And I wonder if you are thinking about me too? Am I a faint memory of how things used to be? And I'm wondering if you even think of me?