The Ancient Monastic Practice to Let Go of Negativity and Become Positive

“Negativity is everywhere and it is contagious.”

It’s a brilliant quote by Jay Shetty from his book “Think Like a Monk.” He is a storyteller, podcaster, a purpose coach, and a former monk.

Negativity is ubiquitous as we face it daily at home, at work, with friends, or even with strangers. We often blame others for ruining our days.

However, what people barely realize is that spreading negativity around makes it contagious! Those impacted by your negativity transmit it to others, and what is caused by a single person grows exponentially!

I’ve made this mind-blowing discovery through Jay Shetty’s book — there is no one to blame for rainy days and shaking partner relationships, except for me.

I catch someone’s mood at work; I patiently listen to friends’ complaints about life; I often consciously join gossip discussions that make me feel guilty later.

People can’t hold negativity for a long time, and they convey their anger to the closest people.

The negativity bubble is growing when we feed it with our anger. Then it bursts, impacting you, me, and everyone else around.

Even if you admit living in a toxic environment, it’s way more challenging to make the first steps towards a better life. Your job and unhealthy corporate culture can still hold you back.

Toxic friendship might cause more harm than good to you, but how likely are you to speak up about it to your close friends? The majority keep silent, so do I!

Instead of judging negative behavior, we keep silent and swallow resentment.

If you face too much negativity in your life that impacts your well-being and shapes your relationship, the old-good 25/75 principle can help you overcome the challenges and reduce anxiety.

What Causes Negativity

Being angry does more harm to your health than to anyone else around you!

Negativity often comes from within. Someone or something has impacted your mood and state of life and made you feel guilty about yourself.

On average, people complain 15–30 times a day because they think complaining will help them get rid of anger. However, the research studies say that’s not true! If you focus on the things people chronically complain about, you risk becoming angrier!

Realizing what engenders negativity inside you is the first step towards conscious elimination of this harmful feeling.

• Comparing yourself to others

With the rise of social media, it’s so easy to get trapped by others’ gorgeous lifestyles. Let’s be honest; we get jealous when friends post shiny pics from chilling on Bali, shopping all day long, and living fabulous lives.

Made-up life on Instagram has nothing to do with the real world, and we don’t know what’s happening behind the curtains. However, we consciously make ourselves feel miserable.

What I personally noticed when analyzing this harmful habit — I tend to devalue my achievements! Wins cease to exist when I look at the retouched social media shots.

You waste energy and time comparing yourself to others which produces nothing but contagious negativity!

• Gossiping about someone

“Why should I feed my brain with meaningless gossips?” — I was in deep thinking while my friend was walking beside me and giving random talks.

I don’t even remember what we discuss at the end of the day. It is just noise for me.

It’s great if you, too, filter out incoming information. However, many people eagerly gossip about everything and everyone.

Even if someone says anything neutral, it might cause a negativity wave that will rapidly grow like a snowball.

Gossiping is the most ridiculous and pointless activity invented by humans that causes nothing but anger.

• Social media trolls

“What will people say about me if I post this image? Will people like this pic of mine? Will anyone agree with me if I share my thoughts?” — do these questions sound familiar?

Young people often ask these questions before posting anything online. Why? Because the Internet is full of haters spreading negativity and self-doubts all around.

If accused once, we are more eager to do the same to others!

A single troll can kill motivation, self-confidence, a burning desire, and someone’s future.

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People consciously create so much hate in the digital world! We used to be happier not knowing how much our neighbors earn, where they spend their holidays and what they order for dinner.

Making enough for living is not a measure of success! Being able to wake up with a clear mind, warm heart, and happy soul — are prerequisites of mindful well-being.

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How To Use the 25/75 Principle

Jay Shetty claims people fail to reach their full potential because they hold negativity deep inside.

He spent three years living in the ashram and learning ancient wisdom. Jay Shetty suggests using the 27/75 principle practiced by monks in the past that is still applicable nowadays:

For every negative person in your life, have 3 uplifting people.

Spend at least 75% of your time with people who inspire you, rather than bring you down. In life, as in sports, being around better players pushes you to grow.

I other words, if you want to reduce the impact of a toxic environment, surround yourself with better people than you in some way — better in business, more productive, better in money management, and seem way more successful than you are.

The sadness and boredom brought by one person will be outranked by the inspiration and wisdom coming from those who strive to become better.

If success stories surround you, you’ll get uncomfortable not doing anything. The energy coming from those people is enough to push you towards crushing your goals even if you aren’t ready yet.

You are who you surround yourself with!

Don’t just spend time with people you admire — grow with them, try to replicate their success! But don’t be everyone’s darling and savior!

As Jay Shetty suggests:

We are subconsciously wired to please others and more than that we are subconsciously wired for conformity. So the more negativity that surrounds us, the more negative we become.

If you have the right mindset and experience to help someone improve their life — do it! But don’t try to save someone who’s drowning if you barely swim yourself! He will pull you down with him.

It’s hard to admit having a toxic relationship with friends and challenge the present to build a bright future. However, none of the big things were created, being inside the comfort zone!

Closing Thoughts

Life is like a boomerang — what you send into the universe comes back to you eventually!

Humans are social creatures. We have to interact with others to exist physically and mentally.

We pass our energy, mood, feelings, and emotions when we talk to each other.

Every joyous moment makes this world a bit better place to live in. In contrast, negativity seeds destruction, hate, and competition with a self!

Do you know what the only competition allowed in a monastery is?

“Monks are only allowed to outstrip each other in showing love and respect. It’s not about who can do more. It’s about who can give more.” — Jay Shetty.

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