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Struggle Knows No Stranger

Finding Purpose in Pain

By Stephanie JarrellPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
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I use to wonder if I was the only one that struggled with such effortless tasks.

Getting out of bed. Brushing my teeth. Take a shower. Being around people.

Everything was starting to feel like an uphill battle.

All I wanted to do was sleep, but even sleep was grueling.

Forced to face the constant loop of everything you tried to distract yourself from throughout the day.

Already exhausted for the following day because you know all the struggles that are waiting for you when you wake up.

So I sat.

Uncomfortable in my own skin.

Numb.

My mind was anywhere but the present.

Not able to escape disappointment and constant comparison.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Adamant that I needed to have an answer for every what-if and exhausted because I thought that was possible.

I was aware that my mind wasn’t a nice place to be.

But I felt trapped.

My mind constantly racing while my body stayed stationary.

I felt like everything was crashing down around me.

I became a shell of myself.

I was so frustrated because the harder I pushed, the heavier life became.

I didn’t understand why.

Everything happens for a reason but how do you keep yourself going until that reason is revealed?

A person changes when they learn enough that they can or when they are hurt so bad that they have to.

As hard as it is to see the good in the middle of the bad, there is purpose in pain.

Without the battle you are facing right now, you may never reach the person that you are supposed to be.

If you’re in a position right now where you read that and think of it as just another cliche quote.

I was the same way.

In the midst of feeling like I was drowning, I realized the old me wouldn’t have stood a chance.

I was terrible at taking compliments. Especially from myself. So this was huge.

I was so frustrated and angry with life that it took me a while to allow myself to be proud of the small transformation I had noticed.

I was nowhere close to where I wanted to be.

Every day felt like I was running a marathon.

Each day I woke up determined to break the harsh cycle I had been stuck in but somehow that positive mindset I tried to adapt to didn’t stand a chance as the day progressed.

Convinced that if the day was going too well, something was bound to happen.

I felt exhausted and weak but I couldn’t deny the fact that there was a newfound strength.

A strength that I wouldn’t have found if life hadn’t been throwing me constant curveballs.

I gave myself permission to take a breath.

I wasn’t where I wanted to be, but I wasn’t where I use to be either, so I allowed myself to take a deep breath.

If you are still breathing, allow yourself to stop and take a breath even if you don’t have all the answers yet.

No matter where you are or what your circumstances are, taking a deep breath is something that anyone can do.

It’s something we underestimate and take for granted.

I changed my perspective and started fighting to view each battle from a place of curiosity.

Curious about what I was meant to learn from each situation instead of letting my emotions fuel my actions.

I knew I was stubborn so I used that to my advantage.

I made the choice that I was going to be too stubborn to stay down.

The competitive side in me started shining through and I viewed each obstacle as a challenge.

When I felt I hit another wall; challenge accepted.

When things didn’t go as planned; challenge accepted.

When someone made me feel small; challenge accepted.

When doubt crept in; challenge accepted.

I started viewing things through a different lens.

A new lens filtered through my own traumas and struggles and insecurities.

It's hard to help someone get through something that you have not experienced.

I realized that sometimes the reason we go through certain things is so we can help others.

That is what I found comfort in.

When you have suffered, you develop a heightened awareness of how to empathize with others.

I realized that just because people don’t like to talk about their struggles, didn’t mean I was the only one struggling.

Struggle knows no stranger.

In every environment that you walk into, someone could be having the worst week of their life while you’re experiencing the best week of your life.

On the other hand, you could feel like you are fighting to survive while everyone around you seems to be having their best week.

This is where I found myself.

I found myself walking with my head down.

Lacking the confidence to make eye contact with anyone.

Looking past people in the grocery store but never at them.

The eyes can tell a lot.

I walked around with my pain masked by my pride.

If I interacted with someone long enough then they would surely see right through me.

The truth is; everyone knows what it is like to experience pain.

I was so focused on keeping my head down that I missed opportunities to be a light to others.

If you know what it feels like to feel isolated. Use that to make someone else feel seen.

Don't let the pain of what you go through be for nothing. Use it.

The world sees enough people who look like they don’t have flaws, they don’t need to see more.

self help
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About the Creator

Stephanie Jarrell

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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