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Stop Trying to Make Your Life Perfect

It's just not working...

By Amanda DoylePublished 3 months ago Updated 3 months ago 3 min read
Photo by Tolga Ulkan on

I am not perfect. I will never claim to be.

Up until about a year ago though, I cared so much about being perfect, so that I could fit in with the people around me.

I was under the impression that life needed to be perfectly put together, packaged with a nice bow. If your life isn't like that, it's not good enough. You need to be improving things to make it so that it can be perfect.

If you're on social media, you've seen the trend of "aesthetic lives" going around. You know what I'm talking about. It's the reels that showcase her perfect morning routine, where she gets up at 5am and runs a marathon, and then drinks five gallons of water before breakfast. I'm being dramatic, but I'm trying to make a point. Because actually, a lot of those morning routine reels that I see do include hobbies like this, which may be unrealistic for everyone to commit to.

Not everyone is able to wake up at 5am every morning, as not everyone is able to go to bed at 9pm every night. Some people have kids, and would actually like to spend some time relaxing after the kids go to bed, instead of just heading straight to bed. Or maybe they work late, and again, would like to have some relaxation time before bed. There could be a million other reasons too.

Even though I know I don't want to be perfect, I still find myself wanting to show my people that I have it all together. But seriously, I don't. At all.

I struggle hardcore with managing my emotions. My triggers are out of control sometimes. My business isn't as successful as I'd like it to be. There are days where I can't look at the mirror without insulting myself. But I'm trying my best, and I think I'm doing a good job at keeping things afloat.

Because I've realized that if you want to have a life worth living, it's going to be hard. Really hard. You're going to have to go through some tough shit in order to get out on the other side alive. You think your role model didn't struggle? Babe, everyone struggles. Life is fucking hard. But those hard moments make all the easy moments worth it.

We can project our perfect lives out on social media all we want, but at the end of the day, it's all about how you feel when you go to bed. And when I go to bed? I feel loved. And all I ever wanted when I was young was to go to bed feeling 100% safe, loved, and appreciated. So I got what I wanted, and I appreciate the universe for that.

My point here? My life is nowhere near perfect. I have a very messy life, admittedly. But that doesn't mean that it's not still a good life, or perhaps even the perfect life for me. I would say that I'm still working on making it the perfect life for me, because there are always things to work on. But you have to realize that you should appreciate your life for what it is now, what it has to offer you now, how it can be your dream life if you really want it to be. It's all about your mindset.

My life isn't perfect, but it's beautiful. I wake up every morning, not dreading the day, like I used to. I look forward to seeing my partner's face in the morning. I look forward to snuggling with my puppy. I look forward to working on my business. While I didn't intentionally insert all of these into my life, I work hard on keeping them in my life, because those are the things that make it perfect for me.

Life isn't perfect and that's okay. You don't really want it to be perfect, in all honesty. Just focus on being happy. That happiness? It's more important than anything in this universe.

self help

About the Creator

Amanda Doyle

Multi-talented entrepreneur, trying to figure out who I am in this world while also running a small business. My business, Happily Mander, offers life coaching services, tarot and oracle readings, and much more. Entering my bad bitch era.

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