Stop Saying Sorry

As all of you know I've been on a journey to find out who I am. However, to understand who I am I need to understand my past. This means that I've been taking a long, hard, look at my life and at myself. I've realized that I've always apologized for things that I shouldn't be apologizing for. I've been saying sorry for things that I genuinely don't want to do, or for sticking up for myself. I never understood why I do this but honestly, I don't want to know. Recently, I've decided I won't say sorry. I won't say sorry for saying/doing something that I wholeheartedly feel is right. I'm me; I'm quirky, weird, crazy, clumsy, funny, quiet, etc.

I've met friends who have had the same problem, and they've told me stories about when they said sorry but now looking back at it they don't understand why they did. Here are some things I want to tell you from all of our experiences:

1. Don't say sorry for not wanting to have sexual relations. If you don't want to do it and they get mad, that's their own problem. YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG, YOU DON'T OWE THEM ANYTHING. If you don't want to do something, you don't have to; it's your body. If they make you feel guilty, maybe it's time for you to review that relationship or that situation. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. PLEASE remember this. This is a big one, because if your partner doesn't understand or respect your decision to not have any form of sex then they aren't the one for you. Why? Because they don't respect you or your decisions and are only thinking about their own self-interests.
2. Don't say sorry for giving your opinion. When you give your opinion, you're giving someone a new point of view, you're telling them something that maybe they didn't consider before. If they make you feel stupid for having that point of view, don't apologize. If they criticize you, don't apologize. YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG, STICK BY YOUR OWN OPINIONS. If you don't believe in yourself who will? You have to be your biggest supporter.
3. Don't be sorry for following your dreams. When you follow your dreams, you're making yourself happy and you should never feel sorry for doing so. This is your life and you should never live for someone else. If you want to go into the arts, performing, medicine, law, teaching, criminal justice, the military, etc., do it. Do whatever makes you happy.
4. Don't be sorry for looking a certain way. Nowadays, many of us feel as if we are "ugly and unfit." We feel we should look a certain way. If you don't like your appearance you shouldn't feel sorry about it; work on it. Work on self love, work out, eat right, do something that you feel will make you feel good about yourself. Never feel sorry for your appearance, you're beautiful/handsome just the way you are. EXAMPLE: If you feel like you're "too thin," look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, "why do I feel this way? and what can I do to make myself feel better? or love myself more?" NEVER let anyone else's beauty take away from yours.
5. Trust your own judgement. If you feel whole heartedly about something or if you have a gut feeling, please listen to it. You should trust yourself more. If someone is trying to pressure you into a bad/uncomfortable situation don't say, "I'm sorry, I don't want to do this," instead say, "this is a stupid/bad idea, I'm not getting involved" (maybe not those exact words if you want to be nice about it, but you get the point). If they don't like your response, shrug it off and walk away.

You are all amazing people and I hope you all know that. You should never feel guilty for not conforming to someone else's views of who you should be or of who you are. If you ever feel uncomfortable with a situation you have to let your voice be heard. If you ever feel like you're not being true to yourself, let your voice be heard. This is your life, make it a good one.