Motivation logo

Starting Over

My New Life

By Phoenix CobainPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
Like

So it's been a while since I've written anything and there is an extremely legit reason for it. I'm one week away from giving birth and my baby daddy is still an unbelievable deadbeat who wants absolutely nothing to do with his own daughter which is fine with me because with how fucked up his family is I really don't even want my child associated with them. I'm even wrestling with myself over whether or not to even give her that last name when she's born. I've recently gotten into another relationship with a guy who is the complete opposite of my ex. He actually loves me and my baby right to death and there is nothing in this world that he wouldn't do for either of us. I'm going to be moving into my very own place very soon as well and I've finally gotten the career that I've always wanted; I'm going to be working at a preschool/daycare center. My life is finally coming together and it's all because I got away from the abusive ex and decided to not let anyone or anything stop me from achieving my dreams. I have no one but myself to credit for any of it because I've been the one getting myself to and from appointments, job interviews, filling out any and all paper work that I needed to get done and just basically working on myself so that I could provide a better life for myself and my children. See for the past 7 months I've been homeless. I've been basically doing whatever I can to get by. No, I don't mean that I've been prostituting myself for money what I do mean is I have been cleaning peoples cars, apartments/houses and babysitting just so I can get by when I need money. I can't wait for this nightmare to finally be over so I can get to see what challenges life may hold for me next. Whatever it may be I will be ready and I will overcome them. I know this because I have managed to do it time and time again. I'm hoping this time will be the last time I ever have to do it. I fucking hate having to start over. Truth be told it absolutely sucks! I admit this new chapter that I'm starting is kind of exciting but it's also scary and overwhelming. I've gotten to meet some new and interesting people along the way. I've also learned a lot of new things about myself. I've learned that I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be. I've learned that I'm resilient. I've learned that I may get knocked down but that I will ALWAYS get myself back up with or without anyone backing my ass up. I've learned that I can pick up my pieces and put myself back together. I've learned to actually give myself credit and to cut myself some slack. I've learned to take things as they come and to no longer sweat the small stuff. This time around I'm going for gold. I won't be distracted nor will I ever allow anyone to take my self respect from me again. I will never allow anyone to ever make me feel worthless. I will never allow someone to make me feel so helpless that I actually attempt to take my own life again. I'm starting over and this time it's for keeps. I now know that I can"t rely on anyone but myself for anything and that's okay with me cause I know I got this.

This is me taking back what is mine. This is me taking back MY life.

healing
Like

About the Creator

Phoenix Cobain

Phoenix escaped her gilded cage and rose from the ashes broken yet beautiful.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.