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Soften into Life and You Will be Strong

Soften into Life and You Will be Strong

By Sawn BaenPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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Soften into Life and You Will be Strong
Photo by Ameer Basheer on Unsplash

It's hard for you to kick against the goads. soft things are not broken ... You can spend so many years of your life trying to be hard so you don't break; but it's the soft stuff that can't break! Hard stuff is what breaks it into a million pieces! ”~ C Joybell C

Language is a powerful force. Although it is often referred to as "semantics," the image given to our words and the words we use often convey a meaning that is not intended to mean or contradict what we mean.

That is why it is so difficult to talk about spiritual matters. When we say “God” or “salvation” or “peace,” those words can have a profound effect on a doctrinal, political, or social statement that means something different to what the speaker says.

A prime example of this is the image of "hardness" composed of many words intended to be positive, such as "strong" or "heavy." We want to be “strong” and “tough,” able to cope with all the trials and tribulations of life without breaking.

However, these terms often conflict with the image of difficulty. When we are strong, we cling to it, grind our teeth, and carry it. When we are in trouble, we “pass over” bad times.

The short-term effect is usually satisfactory. A difficult person returns quickly from a failed marriage or from an illness or the loss of a long-term job. The problem, however, is often found underground and over time. What happens when a person spends most of his or her life in secret and is still strong?

To use the cliché, a tree that does not bend, breaks. A hard tree may be hard to bear, but when a strong wind blows, it cracks and falls. Let's look at more pictures to see this better.

Brené Brown talks about weapons of war. We wear protective equipment. That was the way of life for me.

I once knew someone who endured a lot of abuse at a young age, who was abused and betrayed by people who were not at his risk.

His survival strategy developed in these situations should not have been so deep in people, with his cards next to his vest not to open. This is easy, he explains, because once you’re done with the person, you can just move on easily without feeling any pain.

After his resurrection from broken relationships with broken people, he was able to get past them.

But what does it mean when you don't let people in and open up to them? You avoid injury, but you also miss the intimacy, communication, and depth of open and honest relationships.

Really, how could you possibly feel in love with someone if you simply put him or her under a lot of pressure? You can't.

As Brené Brown explains, you can reduce emotions - both positive and negative - but you cannot isolate and block certain types of emotions.

In order to feel happy and close, you need to allow yourself to be in danger, which can sometimes lead to pain.

In order to love, you have to face the certainty of being lost in the end. Otherwise, you just get numb. You are not really there.

People need to communicate. What happens to a person who walks through life while keeping everyone at arm's length? What happens to people who do not reveal themselves? I have to know - I often avoid the truth and are at risk of defending myself.

I was an alpha male. Growing up in a nursing home, I learned not to be in danger. I became an active student - determined, successful, and always strong, always running away from those who might hurt me.

That meant, however, that I was struggling to find someone I could trust completely, and when I did, I put all my eggs in that basket. So when the relationship ended, I felt terrible.

When you get seriously injured, the fear increases. The more frightened you become, the more armed you become. The thicker your weapons, the heavier they are. When my arms finally broke and fell, it led to a complete collapse. It was during this recovery period that I learned what real strength is.

I was determined. I focused on my goals, usually those that would bring me recognition, and I achieved them. These goals were in line with what is commonly called “success” —health, influence, and prestige. So, stuck with the problem along the way, my eyes focused instead of looking at me. I was tough.

Life is a long road with many forks. My eyes on the prize, I was not focused and I kept going to the left. Unfortunately, life told me in many ways that I was fine.

I lived in a city that did not meet my standards. I stayed in a relationship that showed many warning signs. I had a well-paying and well-paying job that took all my time and energy. I was literally sick - I was in the hospital many times each year when I had never been sick before.

When the pain became too great, I fell to the ground, and at that moment, I could not help but turn right.

At the time, all my struggles did not seem to pass me by. And that's what suffering is: it's a great teacher who always tells you where you're going, and the harder you try to get through, the harder it will be and the longer it will last. Then soften and go well, and then everything changes.

No wonder nature inspired me with the most suitable salt swamp, if not hidden.

Wetlands are a natural habitat along the coast. During storms, salt marshes absorb the energy of large waves, penetrate wetlands, lose momentum, and disappear. When invading the coast, the waves retain part of their original strength, so the coast is protected. Sand dunes work the same way.

In time, people demolished and destroyed fragile residences, making hurricanes extremely dangerous and destructive.

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