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Simple truths I come back to when everything feels lost

by Luna Lee Bear 3 months ago in healing
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What are yours?

Simple truths I come back to when everything feels lost
Photo by Luz Mendoza on Unsplash

Sometimes life is a bit rough. Over the years, I have pinpointed some personal truths that I can re-start from when everything seems lost.

Love is all

Even hate, which we have been told to be the opposite, it's the wish that we could live peacefully or love something. The deepest the wish, the deeper the hate.

It's not always straightforward.

Sometimes we see something in another that reminds us of ourselves, and we hate them because we wish we could love ourselves even in those aspects, those "flaws", that we spend so much energy and time trying to hide.

Let's try an exercise: describe the person that most infuriates you, using adjectives. I suggest that you write your list before you continue reading.

Once you have your description take a few deep breaths and calm yourself down if you need to. Maybe have a glass of water.

Read it again when you feel more detached: that is the deepest part of your shadow. Maybe not all of it, but other people can't raise your emotions that much inside of you if you are neutral about something. Those triggers will be precious for you to look at the things that feel more menacing in the outside world and in other people, allowing you to make peace with them and gain a sense of being an active participant in your reality.

Sometimes we can't just step from where we are to Love, and that is ok.

I should add here that Love is greatly misunderstood nowadays. We can (and we must) be in love and set boundaries, raise our voices, be sad or angry or have any emotion on the spectrum. The Love I'm talking about is a radical act of choosing growth rather than stagnancy or repression.

In fact, I think the opposite of Love is exactly repression. In all its forms.

It is safe to feel

Do you know why there is so much tension in the world? Because we don't let our feeling out.

I firmly believe that emotional intelligence, if taught widely enough, could single-handedly solve 90% of the world's problems.

One big example is the one of violence, which would be virtually inexistent if we learned healthy aggression. A dog growling at another dog is healthy behaviour because it sorts out the tension of the moment without the need for anyone to get hurt.

We suppress that. We tell our kids that their biog emotions, especially anger, are inconvenient for us. But that ager and those big feelings do not go anywhere, they stay trapped in their body unless they find a way to express it, and every time they get angry they repress some more - and then someday it explodes.

For some people it does so in the form of physical violence, for others, it becomes an autoimmune disease or cancer. When this repression enters politics, a few individuals get to play with human lives as a means to sort out their internal conflicts. We live in a world of repressed children in the bodies of adults, that have no idea how to process their internal life.

After years of healing and questioning my personal beliefs and truths (and screwing up my life a ton when I was being stubborn about being right instead of observant) - I started creating emotional safety in my body, and then helped my clients do the same.

The difference in the quality of life and in the type of people that we attract in our orbit now is astounding. It takes work, but each person who enters this life had the power to influence others in their circle. This is how we "change the world" - which I prefer referring to as "evolving safely".

If I have to choose, I will choose integrity over quick results

I thought about this around wealth specifically. I love money as much as the next person and I am not going to pretend that I don't.

However, over the years I had the possibility to do a ton of work for a small salary or by discounting my services, and I did that for a while. The price was bourn-out. I took abilities that I formed within a decade of study and experience and gave them away for a few bucks.

Last Summer I had to drop everything that I was doing and re-evaluate. My business hadn't broken even for one single month that year, and I felt close to getting physically ill.

I realized that the incredible results that I deliver in 90 minutes are what most professionals take a year of work to get to, and I am able to do that because of all the effort I have put into refining my craft. So now I charge my worth, and whenever I feel like I shouldn't, I come back to this simple truth. My business will be built on integrity, and the only way to do that is to embody what I teach - self-respect and high standards.

In general, I like to ask myself: Will this matter when I'm old and I am revising how I lived my life? Would I advise a dear friend, or a daughter, to do this?

These types of questions help me to stand in integrity, to live life on my terms, even when it would feel easier to compromise.

When in doubt, romanticize it

Yes, it is a problem now...but what would it look like if I was watching a movie about myself?

This helps me feel my emotions in the moment.

For example, if I am sad I can do things to enhance the sadness - like sitting on the ground with my head on the glass door, or curling up in bed and having a tantrum. I imagine what it would look like if I was creating a scene, and it is easier to stay with the feeling rather than getting distracted and scrolling TikTok and avoiding it.

It's obviously not always possible, but I feel that it also adds a certain beauty to life - even to those moments that feel everything but nice.

Life is a ceremony and my body is the altar

This perspective has changed so much for me. It has changed me, for the better.

The characteristic of a ceremony is that there are active elements, like setting up the space, inviting people, saying words and cleaning up after it's done. And trust-based elements, like letting the energy do its thing and believing that whichever way things go, they will serve the purpose.

That is because we can't force energy, we can't manipulate the electricity in our body to more than a small extent, and we can't plan the future on a map.

And so with life, we can make certain choices and decide who we want to keep on the journey with us, and then we have to trust in our decisions and let life do its course. When we become rigid and force an outcome at the expense of our peace and health, sometimes even our values, we close the doors to all the unexpected and potentially healthier things that could have come our way.

Just as the altar is the heart of a ceremony, the body is the key to an aligned life. Not in the western health sense of weight and fitness though, that is just another way of forcing a standard outcome.

The body contains our deepest wisdom, and in the way that we tend to this wisdom lays our evolutions as humans and as a society.

From the polyvagal theory to ancient shamanic knowledge, we know that we are more than a sack of meat and organs. The body remembers everything, from the womb to present times and to know what we hold and release what doesn't serve means to be the person that we really are.

The alternative is to tick boxes. School, achievements, marriage, work...do you realize how new these standards are in the great scheme of things? Yet we are so conditioned to think that we are only valid if we can keep up with them.

The body isn't wired for this, and it shows. Hearts and nerves suffer the most. I could write for days about this but my point is, that the body can guide us and I decide that I'll let mine do exactly that.

What truths do you come back to? I'd love to know.

healing

About the author

Luna Lee Bear

Eclectic healer and all-around weird person, guiding people through big life changes, dark nights of the Soul and spiritual awakenings. I draw connections, highlight patterns, and write about life from unusual points of view.

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insight

  1. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

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Comments (1)

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  • Stacey Vella2 months ago

    This is so interesting, not sure what my personal truths are - yet but I think I’ll try to find them so I have them to return to! What a lovely read! & lovely personal truths - thanks for sharing!

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