SHOULD AND MUST IN THE PURSUIT OF PASSIONS AND DREAMS

It is time you followed your dreams, passions and talents. The pursuit of happiness is the pursuit of your vocation. If you feel you are not living at the fullness of your life it is because you are not expressing the fullness of your gifts, of your talents, of your passions.

Here’s what Elle Luna, the author of a beautiful book I read in less than 1 hour, named “The Crossroads of Should and Must” advises us:

If you find yourself in the position I found myself as well, that you do not know why you are alive, then you need to ask yourself that question and follow the answers, because it is only you who has those answers.

Elle Luna is a wonderful writer who goes straight to the point and makes sure she clarifies every aspect of your quest to discover what you need to do in your life. I highly recommend for you to check her book here.

So, what is this book about anyway?

Obviously, about you and how you can discover the path to you mapping your future based on your vocation, on your gifts that are not used. Sometimes it is hard to pursue a vocation because school teaches us we need to study something based on our skills and aptitudes and excel in that field of operation. Of course, not always you are passionate about that. There is a distinction that we need to take into account and that Elle Luna explains so well in the pictures she has created in her book.

Elle Luna explores these 3 aspects in a hypothesis.

“WHAT IF WHO WE ARE AND WHAT WE DO BECOME ONE AND THE SAME? WHAT IF OUR WORK IS SO THOROUGHLY AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL THAT WE CAN’T PARSE THE PRODUCT FROM THE PERSON? IN THIS PLACE, JOB DESCRIPTIONS AND TITLES NO LONGER MAKE SENSE, WE NO LONGER GO TO WORK, WE ARE THE WORK.“

Should and Must are 2 concepts that Elle Luna refers to in order to explain the concept of pursuing your dreams and pursuing someone else’s dream. Should is something you should do, you should get a degree, you should get a job, you should get married, you should be that and do that. Shoulds are put on you from the moment you are born.

“YOU HAVE TO GROW UP UNDER SOMEONE ELSE’S WING. IT’S A NORMAL HEALTHY PROCESS FOR PARENTS TO GIVE SHOULDS AND FOR CHILDREN TO RECEIVE THEM. BECAUSE YOU – THE CHILD – MUST LEARN HOW TO NAVIGATE THE WORLD. IN ADDITION TO WHAT YOU RECEIVE FROM YOUR PARENTS, YOU INHERIT A WORLDVIEW FROM THE COMMUNITY, CULTURE AND SPECIFIC TIME INTO WHICH YOU ARE BORN. AS YOU GROW UP, YOU GET TO DECIDE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT WORLDVIEW. IT IS A NATURAL PROCESS TO BECOME YOUR OWN PERSON, TO FIND YOUR VOICE, CONVICTIONS, OPINIONS AND TO CHALLENGE AND SHED THE SHOULDS THAT NO LONGER SERVE YOUR EVOLVING BELIEFS. BUT SOMETIMES, WE LINGER IN SHOULD A LITTLE LONGER THAN EXPECTED.”

ELLE LUNA, THE CROSSROADS OF SHOULD AND MUST

Must, on the other hand, is your soul. Your talents, your gifts. It is your way to attain the core desired feelings that bring you to your goals, to your soul, to your reason to be alive, to your pursuit of happiness. Must is your vocation.

“MUST IS WHO WE ARE, WHAT WE BELIEVE, AND WHAT WE DO WHEN WE ARE ALONE WITH OUR TRUEST, MOST AUTHENTIC SELF. (…) MUST IS WHEN WE STOP CONFORMING TO OTHER PEOPLE’S IDEALS AND START CONNECTING TO OUR OWN – AND THIS ALLOWS US TO CULTIVATE OUR FULL POTENTIAL AS INDIVIDUALS.

TO CHOOSE MUST IS TO SAY YES TO HARD WORK AND CONSTANT EFFORT, TO SAY YES TO A JOURNEY WITHOUT A ROAD MAP OR GUARANTEES, AND IN DOING SO, TO SAY YES TO <BEING ALIVE>.” CHOOSING MUST IS THE GREATEST THING WE CAN DO WITH OUR LIVES. ”

ELLE LUNA, THE CROSSROADS OF SHOULD AND MUST

Should is the society’s expectations of what you need to do and become, it is what your parents dream of you to be and do, it is what it is easiest to do: to give up your dreams and become a tool in someone else’s courage to pursue their passions and vocations. Must is your true unique power, the one that got you onto this Earth, in this life, in your current situation. Must is hard to follow because it is so much easier to believe a lifetime of Shoulds, to go on the safe road instead of creating your own road.

Elle Luna gives some ideas on how to discover your gifts, the gifts that God gave you to become who you have chosen to become in this life, and if you find it is not simple for you to remember it, then here are some things for you to do.

CHOOSING MUST DOES NOT MEAN QUITTING YOUR JOB.

Yes, it is exceptionally fundamental to follow your own talents and passions. Yes, you need to put that creative spark within you to work, however, you do not need to do something reckless in order to pursue your dream. For some people it works to just hand over their resignation letter, for some people, it works to work in parallel until an income arrives from the other activity. For some people, the passion does not come with an income. And that is ok.

It is ok to not get money from whatever you are gifted at or passionate about. It may mean that you are not ready yet, or that you need to work on your craft more to excel. It does not mean that you should stop doing that just because it is not paying off the bills.

For instance, I ran this website, but I am not being paid for it. I do it for my own pleasure, for my own ego, for my own need to do something creative. To be creative. It is nothing wrong in doing that. On the contrary, it is the best way to pursue a vocation, a dream, a passion. Because the more you experience your core desired feelings, the more you will wish to live all moments in those feelings. And that will make you change your life, little by little, with one step at a time, building your brand, and getting more confident in your passion, to be able to start gaining an income from it.

Getting doubts over your passions or over following your path or dreams, will only make you turn back to a lifetime of regretful of Shoulds.

If your life does not revolve solely on your Must, it does not mean it is a life full of Shoulds. It means you were able to balance the Must and the Shoulds, until you will reach the point of living in the Must.

"MUST FEELS INHERENTLY SELFISH AT FIRST. BUT WHEN YOU CHOOSE MUST, YOU INSPIRE OTHERS TO CHOOSE IT, TOO. WHEN YOU FOLLOW MUST, EVERY DAY, YOU IMPACT NOT ONLY WHAT YOU CREATE FOR YOUR WORK, BUT ALSO WHO YOU BECOME IN YOUR LIFE. THIS IS HOW YOUR WORK AND YOUR LIVE BECOME ONE AND THE SAME. WHEN YOU CHOOSE MUST, WHAT YOU CREATE IS YOURSELF. IT IS A BODY OF WORK. AS YOU CHANGE, SO TOO DOES YOUR WORK. AS YOU GROW, SO TOO DOES THE CREATION. YOUR WORK LIVES AND BREATHES BECAUSE YOU LIVE AND BREATHE. WHEN YOU LIVE THE FULLNESS OF YOUR LIFE, YOU LIFT THE COLLECTIVE HUMAN EXPERIENCE.”

ELLE LUNA, THE CROSSROADS OF SHOULD AND MUST

Please share me with your precious ones!

Pictures are courtesy of Elle Luna’s book, The Crossroads of Should and Must

You may read more about mapping your future by finding out what affirmations can lift you to empower and energize you in your pursuit of happiness, in your path and vocation following here.