Secure Every Loving Foundation

Self love teaches us how to love the world.

Our mind works like an energy conductor and as such it creates assumptions about the energy of what is happening and then projects its interpretations out onto the world around us so we can watch it play back to us and teach us what we most need to learn, but most people are not aware of this even being possible. We see everything in its literal sense as our reactive self does the best it can to interpret the data until we cross the inner bridge to see things symbolically instead. This can happen gradually or in stages that are quite abrupt and we will find afterwards that we were fully prepared by life for these crossings and stages but while we are actually undertaking them, we usually feel completely unprepared. Driven by an instinctual reaction called "fear," we bounce through life like a pinball being buffeted off flippers and bumpers, tilted and smacked until we make our way determinedly through the playing field. Our mettle is tested many times before we get where we want to be and rest in the socket of our own love. There are ways to change this process but how do we earn them if our culture has no idea how to teach us either?

In the modern, anglo-western world, we are generally taught and expected to focus on everything and everyone outside ourselves and then we eventually wonder why it never feels like enough. The reason is because it can never be enough to focus on anything outside of our own self. The most important relationship we are ever going to have is the relationship we have with ourselves. We sleep with ourselves, eat with ourselves, talk to ourselves, bathe with ourselves, shop with ourselves, and more. We spend more time with ourselves over the course of a lifetime that we will ever be able to spend with any other being and yet, do we even know ourselves? Do we feel into the energy of who we are and how that sits, settles, moves, or shifts? Do we pay attention to our thoughts, feelings, emotions, likes, dislikes, intuitions, and inner guidance? Do we know and honour the depth of our own soul, our own mind, our own body, our own desires and yearnings, our own beliefs and values, our own imaginings? Do we compromise who we are in order to please another, or do we be ourselves unapologetically and allow others to do the same? Around us? Do we judge ourselves and others for choices made in good faith and in the moment, or do we accept that life has its own course that we all have a part in creating and let bygones be bygones because judging does not help anyone anyway? Do we blame others when we feel hurt or abandoned or do we take responsibility for meeting our own emotional needs and not accepting blame for others are feeling either? Exactly how do we accept, honour, and love ourselves as we are if all of this is not happening?

When we get into relationship with anyone or anything outside of ourselves, we learn all of the above and we apply it as best we can. I accept that it is these relationships that teach us how to be in relationship with our own self, and with life too. Sadly, many of us have extremely unregulated nervous systems and so we react violently to the "other" that we feel in relationship with and often cut it short or kill it off before we even know that we have been learning from it. It may be many years or even an entire lifetime before we become ready to open up to anything positive having come from some relationships at all, particularly if we left it feeling hurt, abused, or wounded in some way. Learning and maintaining healthy boundaries and self-love can be amazingly helpful in navigating relationships and the resulting opening of the heart and mind that comes form a feeling of security within, and can allow the heart and mind to open further still. We then get to cross another bridge that many do not even dream of crossing, a bridge into total acceptance and unconditional acceptance. This is a place where we feel love for ourselves and others no matter what our mind tells us about the experiences we have. This is the place where we open into the truest greatness of who we are and pour that greatness out into the world without shame, insecurity, fear, or guilt, and this is the place where relationship thrives and so do we. This is "home," the place that we create for ourselves in life, to share with others and create heaven right here on Earth. So go on and love yourself today. You’re worth that and so much more.