Revamp Hiper Speed

I will begin with a few things about me and my life in the shortest way I know how. I have suffered from the ups and downs of life. The changes and the idles of my own doing. I have depression, anxiety, thyroid disease, mood swings, obesity, and there's others but you get the just of it. I'M ONE HUGE HOT MESS to say the least! What is worse is I know I am. I mean if I was in AA classes, I guess knowing and admitting it is half the battle, am I right? The real me is hiding and just wishing she could come back out and play. I used to be the person everyone wanted to talk to, visit, invite places, go shopping with or party with. The real life of the party kind of person. I could turn someone’s frown right side up in minutes, But I could never seem to take my own advice. I really do not know what happened to me. Where did that girl go? Why did she go into hiding? What happened? Most of all why did it happen? Okay, okay yes getting older happens to us all, so what! That is not a reason to pull 180. Well, no matter the reason I am here now. I hate who I have become. I must make a change and I need to do now and fast. I cannot be trapped in this stranger's body with all these issues no more. I feel like I am suffocating. Sort of like I am dying within my own shell. I cannot live like this another minute. So, it is time for revamping myself from the inside out. To make a new me, if I am not able to find that lost girl, at least I could make myself a better version of who I am now, like a huge, better version. Someone I can live with, that I can be proud of. Someone that can show to other’s it can be done.

A good starting point is making my new year resolution and sticking to it this time, but not just for me, for my kids too. I know that if I take off these extra pounds the rest of what is wrong with me will take care of itself. The bigger picture is, I have two amazing kids. My son is 11 and is autistic and is starting down my road, my 8-year-old daughter is bipolar and is really worried about being heavy. With that said I want to show them I am not a loser; I am not just a bump on a log. I can change, I can feel better, I can lose the weight so I can enjoy them more and be better. Then at the same time I can help my son with his weight and my daughter will not have to worry about ever getting heavy.

I have started changing the way we all eat. We used to eat out all the time. That has stopped. I will be starting the keto diet and interim fasting and I will have me kids try it too. Just not the fasting. Of course, I will treat them every now and then to something they miss eating. We will start exercising as a family and do things outdoors more, while social distancing things and being cautions of course.

You see, I do not want to die young. I want my kids to be healthy as well. I want us all to be happy and full of life. I know it starts with me. I need my inner self to come out and shine again. The person that the Lord made me to be not this person I have turned myself into. I just must keep telling myself I got this. I need that will power. I must make sure this new year resolution is kept and completed and kept up. Revamping hyper speed starts now. From the inside out. If not for me then I must do it for my babies. I love them more than life. With that said it is going to done, because I would do anything in my power for my kids, and this is really within my power as God stands with me.