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Patriarchy “A timeless sickness”

Let's "dive" into the darkness of patriarchal toxicity, with the help of a movie.

By Sergios SaropoulosPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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This picture was taken for the New York Times article "How the patriarchy got into our heads"

On a lonely night in Helsinki, I found myself on my sofa watching Ridley Scott's new movie "The Last Duel". I was expecting a decent movie to spend my sleepless night and I end up watching a remarkable film, depicting the timeless patriarchal violence of our society. I am not going to spoil the movie, on the contrary, I will argue you to see it, or even better to read the book by Eric Lager. It is about the story of Lady Marguerite, a victim of rape by a deluded man, who cannot understand the mere concept of rape due to his habit of enforcing violence against other women in the past, justified by a patriarchal society that urges to justify violence against women.

Sounds familiar?

Yes, that was the question I asked myself, in the middle of the movie, and still remains in my mind. Apart from the really good script, acting and directing, that managed to display a timeless message through a medieval scenery. The familiarity of that story forced me to talk about this. Even if my gender is privileged not to experience patriarchal violence that often, I will describe how the brutal complex of patriarchy is actually also forcing violence against men and especially children. But I deem it necessary, to begin with, the majority of victims, women. Not as a competition, but as an obligation of saying the truth. I apologize if this article becomes personal in some parts, but this is a personal comment on the current and at the same time urgent situation that is not only happening in my country but all over the world.

In the last years, my country, following the "me too" movement in the United States, had a similar movement starting from the field of art, and specifically cinema and theater and moving to the so-called everyday people, or should I say , everyday victims. And even though the vast majority of media started broadcasting the news of violence in the field of arts as celebrity gossip, in a desperate attempt to lure the viewers into gossiping about a variety of crimes. I want to believe that it was the beginning of hope for many people. I want to believe that it gave power to all these "everyday" individuals to rise up and finally accuse publicly the ones that caused them so much suffering. In my disappointment I still see the media delivering these news as a form of cheap thrill for a crime-hungry audience. But even though I might seem naively optimistic, I believe that our societies have or at least should reach a point at which, we could understand that these despicable crimes shouldn't work as a form of entertainment. But as a sign of our sick society. A society that desperately needs to be treated.

Treated from what?

That might be our next question or at least our way of trying to see the actual sickness of our society, without only insisting on the signs of the sickness. This is the moment that this article might turn a bit more personal. The cause and the sickness itself have only one name and that name is Patriarchy. Sorry, all my deluded friends who in the name of patriarchy, you fantasize about knights in white horses saving princesses and fighting for kingdoms. Patriarchy has one aspect, violence, after the endless screams of desperation, in a family in which all members have to obey an illusional hierarchy and a powerful and "just" master. But this master is not "just". Only his power can be justified. Justified in the words that we have relentlessly repeated for generations and generations. Sentences like; "he is a man, it is alright if he slaps you once or twice" "did you ask your husband?" "you are dressed like a whore" "she was looking for it" and last but not least "he is a father, he has the right to punish his children". So no, it does not matter if all these "concerned" podcasters are seeing Patriarchy as a lost art of responsibility. It is a remaining "art" of violence and cowardness, an act of fear against people who loved you, or never harmed you or could never mean any threat to you. It is the decision of being brutal, just to exercise a form of superiority that you and only you can see.

Another night

This is a short version of a conversation I had with a man, some nights ago. He was bragging about his knowledge of the old testament. I was impatient, I was waiting for him to stop talking to me, so I could continue watching my tv series. Eventually, I decided to go to sleep, but before I go, the same person who was earlier quoting passages from the bible, now turned to me and he said; "Yes I support polygamy". I was about to say;" Alright, mate, good for you". But he did not let me say it, he interrupted my answer with this; "but not for women". My curiosity at that moment almost instinctively asked him, "why?". He replied; " because women cannot control themselves, but men could". Personally, I do not care if someone wants to be a polygamist or a monogamist. This example shows me, how the patriarchal conception of control has been rooted deeply in people, like this person that night. A concept of control, against your partner, against your children, a form of power that seems more like a constant "blackmail".

What can we do?

The first and most basic thing we could do is finally recognise this violence. In work environments, families, sports and in every other aspect of society. It is our moral duty to stop normalizing any form of violence, and in that sense Patriarchy too. Then we should fight for a law system that would be mature enough to face this kind of violence and injustice, From blackmailing people with the upload of personal photos to the screams of the abused. The voices of dead women in Greece these last years and in all the years passed, they do not just ask for revenge. They are showing us our duty to protect future generations from this type of violence.

Written and published by Sergios Saropoulos.

healingself helphappiness
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About the Creator

Sergios Saropoulos

Philosopher, Journalist, Writer.

Found myself in the words of C.P. Cavafy

"And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.

Wise as you will have become, so full of experience, you’ll have understood by then what these Ithakas mean"

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