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Overcoming A Fear in Silverwood Lake

Spontaneous adventures at its best

By Elyn S FranciscoPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
2

As much as I love the city lights and towering buildings, My admiration on bodies of water overpowers. However, I have always feared being in it.

I've always thought i'd have to watch Oceans, Seas, Lakes and such from ashore. But I knew deep down I long to feel its splashes and thundering waves.. or at least be on top of it.

As a child, I've experienced drowning on multiple occasions including my own birthday ( which just made me realize that i'm accident prone around my birthdays haha ). Over the years I grew more and more intimidated by being in water that I began settling for swimming pools. Ever since I fell off that boat in Burnham Park, I have been avoiding getting into the water. I've gotten on huge boats a couple of times, And I know that's technically still being in water but hear me out! The boat shaking is less likely to be felt. I guess what scares me about getting in boats is when it rocks and sways, My mind automatically start thinking "What if the boat flips? I can't swim *face palm*".

Today, After being mesmerized by the scenic view of Silverwood Lake and A LOT of support and push from my big Sister's children... I have decided BALANASIBATMAN!! Which is a tagalog slang basically for "Fuck it".

I trembled as we approach the wooden docks, Aravhella said my hands were sweating! hahaha.

Getting on the boat as it rocks while i'm trying to get on, I began feeling nauseous and I had this urge to tear up. I wanted to tell them last minute that I couldn't do it but as the boat drifts offshore, I knew it was too late to turn back. At first, I was screaming and hollering each time it leans a little more on one side. But as the minutes goes by, The fear lessened and lessened. I won't boast and say I was fearless because to be honest I was still scared throughout the entire boat ride but laughter and excitement started filling me. I sat at the very end and closed my eyes for a few minutes, I liked the feeling of the winds caressing my face and dancing with my hair.

When I opened my eyes it was as if I was in a movie. My heart raced with pleasure and anxiousness. I watched the water splash from the sides of the boat, I observed the water and how the algae's look on top and under the water. I looked around and see hills and trees all around me. We were so far off that we knew we were in deep. It was so wholesome that I had to take a moment and Thank God that such place of peace and tranquility still exist in such a cold busy world, Thank God that we can have moments like this despite the craziness going on in our world and in our minds.

As I got more and more excited than scared, I try to catch videos and pictures of the beauty infront of me but no camera quality can compare to seeing and feeling it yourself. I had to go for round 2 so that I can enjoy the ride more than trying to take videos of it. We pulled up into a sandy spot where we sat for a cool minute and had laughs over a couple of shots. The water was cold but the sun was scorching and you would think we are all blushing but it is in fact, sunburn hahaha.

I wasn't scared anymore, anxious yes but I loved navigating through the waves, finding the rhythm of it and swaying with it. I sticked my arms and hands out of the boat and waited for the water to tickle my fingers. The lake was beautiful, It now lives in my mind rent-free. This is surely one for the books, I live for such scenes with such company of fun and loving friends. By the time it was time to call it a day, I wasn't scared anymore.. I was ready for more.

As we pack up and make our way back towards our vehicles, I observed my friends. I'm happy, to be blessed with such people that could be with me through the dark days and the sunny days. My heart was warm as I see them laugh and recall the fun and mischiefs we've done for the day. We got hungry and finally ready to go home, but then I realized.. maybe home isn't exactly a place.

self help
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