Not controlling everything, it's alright too

Sometimes we get used to things being the way I want them to be, we don't realize that in an effort to control absolutely everything, I am really detaching myself from the very experience of being in the present moment. Things aren’t always the way we want them to be, and that this is okay. Begin by accepting that nothing is good, nothing is bad, it simply is, and that is how, from deep acceptance, we open ourselves to the experience of life itself.

I believe we are all teachers and students at the same time, nothing and nobody is a coincidence in our lives, this is how, sometimes, we are the ones who teach others and, in other circumstances, they teach us themselves. Most of the time this dynamic happens unconsciously and it’s through our relationships with others that challenges us to expand. The question would be, are we open to being learners? Do I allow myself to be vulnerable to the other? Am I ready for the change this represents to me?

In practice, it’s often not that easy

One of the most complicated things is that sometimes we simply don’t realize that we are used to controlling everything and that when something gets out of our control it frustrates us and generates anxiety. I think this is one of the first difficulties we get, the acceptance of the process that lives within me. When I accept, I stop fighting it and it becomes a much more fluid dynamic. Often the role of student is the one we like the least, since it’s always accompanied by an invitation to leave the comfort zone, detach from the known and open up to experience a new way of doing things, finally, we are all beings in constant construction and we need these experiences with others in order to expand our consciousness and work across our own shadows.

When you become aware of this, you stop judging people or situations, you just start to flow and, little by little, you start to live more freely, but it is a period that takes time and compassion with ourselves, since we’re breaking with old patterns of behavior that we often dragged along since we were little.

What if I don't want to change?

We all have free will, no one is going to force you to change if you don't want to, however, life has taught me that the more resistance you do, the more traumatic everything becomes. I give you an example, which most likely has happened to all of us at some point, let's say that you had a relationship or a connection with someone who was very special to you and, suddenly, this relationship ends untimely, you stop talking to this person and becomes your ex. At first, you may feel hurt or disappointed because you did want to continue in that relationship, at this stage your ego will most likely come to light as a self-defense mechanism and we will assume the role of "victim" in the situation. Okay, this whole story fits perfectly in a Delia Fiallo telenovela and, come on, you can choose to stay with the suffering and pain for weeks, months, even years (this is your free will), the question would be, what would happen if instead of staying there, restraining yourself from your own happiness, wallowing in your own drama, I opened myself to receive the learning that is hidden behind this situation?

This is what many people call "hidden gifts", it may be that at first it is not easy to see those blessings in disguise, however, time always shows us why things happen the way they do. Behind every situation that challenges us, there is a shadow that is lighting us internally so that we recognize and work on it, this is how we expand and, by healing, you begin to attract other types of people or situations in your life.

We came to live, to grow, it isn’t about making judgments because the other "did" a certain thing TO me, because nobody "DOES" anything TO you, these are situations that simply happen, the thing is, what do you do with what happens to you? Because remember, you also happen to others.

Thanks for getting here!

Big hugs, Andre 🦋

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