NO MORE

Far too long...

I’ve put others’ needs, wants and desires above my own. I’ve given my all without expecting in return. How long should I have put up with them treating me the way they did? Wanting to speak up about the mistreatment, afraid to be labelled a victim so I keep a smile on my face & praying the pain away. When I do speak up, my feelings aren’t taken as seriously as I would’ve taken theirs.

Where’s the reciprocity?

How could they wonder why I don’t say anything about anything, when they continuously do things that bothers me? When I do speak up, they can’t bother with me... until it’s too late.

I turn my back and walk away because I’m fed up of the nonsense. I’ve spoken up over & over again. I shouldn’t have to tell you how to treat the ones you claim to love.

I’m no ones punching bag, yet I give people so many chances to cross me and hurt me...

Why? Maybe it’s because I always see the best in people. I see their potential and I want the best for them. I’m easily forgiving but is it my fault? I was raised that way, and it sure isn’t a negative thing. It’s how I want others to think of me. How I want others to treat me. I won’t say that I am not human and don’t make mistakes, but I don’t put myself in situations to hurt others where I have to have to apologize for the same thing over and over again. Thinking BEFORE you speak or act is something that they taught us all since elementary. Why wouldn’t it be as important as grown adults?

I realize that it’s time for me to hit restore and channel my energy and my love for the outer world inward.

Self-love feels like a fight. It feels like war at first. I will no longer take what’s not best for me. I will no longer allow others to walk all over me. I love me and I must do so holistically. All of me. If I don’t? It leaves the door open for others to hurt me and for me to internalize the hurt deeply.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me. Before I turn cold, I just thought I’d let you know, that I’m stepping back with boundaries that are bold. I’ve decided that I won’t take this anymore.

NO MORE.