My wishes for Me

Dear future me,

Hello Me, I hope you are well. I would like to imagine you sitting at your desk, scrolling through this journal on Vocal 12 months from the day I post it, pleased with yourself and the strides you have taken to grow and thrive as a human being. No matter if they are long, confident strides or short, ambling steps, I wish you forward movement all the same.

You know very well that I would like nothing more than to avoid putting expectations upon you (for we know all too well the disappointment of failure and how much pressure there is to fit a certain idea of who you should be) but I do have wishes for you.

I wish for you the strength to embrace the responsibility upon you at work and the perseverance to make the most of your opportunities there.

I wish for you the cool and calm demeanor that lets stress slip off of you and not cling to you toxic film threatening to smother you like it has before.

I wish for you the motivation to do what is best for you. As simple as it might sound, that can be the hardest thing of all. I hope over the last twelve months you have made use of the bench press I have bought and am waiting to have delivered. I hope you have found for yourself a stronger sense of identity in the words you put on a page (or a website, in this case).

While it can be scary having expectations thrust upon you, I place these on you as a friend, who wants nothing but the best for you. I place these on you with the knowledge that these are achievable! The only thing that is stopping you is yourself. You can recognize the truth in my words as you read this, right? Sure, things can get pretty crazy and things never go as you initially plan them to, but it is within your power to adapt to the changes as they come and use them to your advantage if you can. Build your resilience. Grow your confidence. Cultivate happiness from what might seem like a fragile seedling into a strong and thriving plant that looks like it would belong in a botanical garden.

In a perfect world it would be within your power to write me back and answer all my questions! Have you made any new friends, or are the friendships I have now stronger in your capable hands? What do you recommend I watch on Shudder next? Are you happy? Have you moved house? Is your family well? Has your brother lucked his way into a job after finishing university? Do you feel fulfilled? Unfortunately, I will never receive a letter from you, Me. I guess I will just have to imagine where you are now and if you have fulfilled all of my New Years’ resolutions and you can sit at your desk reading this, laughing at how far I misjudged my future and your present.

This year, I will definitely look after my physical health and run once a week and lift weights once a week. I have already bought a bench press and it is on its way. I am going to make our spare room into a motivational haven where I can work out and have fun at the same time! I would love to do more of this, but there are so many more things I want to fit in and such limited time available! At the end of this year I am going to be at my peak physical fitness, boosting my mental health in the process and protecting my back, which I found out this year was not formed properly - a congenital condition. I turned this bad news into a motivator to improve my fitness (which, really, is something I should have been doing in the first place) so I am trying to turn this around to benefit myself. Well, Me, have you been exercising? Do you think you can beat myself as I am now in a competition to hold the longest plank?

I am going to teach myself how to play the bass guitar. I used to look at people my age with insane music talent and think ‘I wish I played an instrument from a young age, then I would be as good as they are’. I eventually realized that it isn’t too late at all for me to learn! I was placing negativity on a situation and skewing it horribly! Let’s leave that kind of attitude behind us, shall we? If I start learning now, then maybe in my thirties I will find myself playing some sick riffs and maybe I have even started to learn how to play a six-string guitar. Me, are you a better bass player than myself?

I am going to explore different kinds of writing. I would like to post something in every category in Vocal, maybe trying a different form of writing occasionally. By writing this to you now, I am working towards this goal! This is the first time I have written a letter to my future self. Was this an achievable goal, Me? Were you able to submit a piece of writing in every category in Vocal? Did you find your unspoken voice while you wrote? Did you discover some kind of subdued identity you didn’t know was you until you learned to read between your own lines? I hope you did, I imagine it will be very fulfilling and feed the soul.

My physical and mental health is at the forefront of my goals. So much time and energy goes into just self-care, but I also want to care for others. I notice my colleagues at work are struggling sometimes, looking wearier with each day that passes. Although the workload will buckle my legs beneath me, I want to urge them to take time off and look after themselves too. If I can afford just a little more stress or responsibility I might do my colleagues a world of good by encouraging them to take the time they need to rest and recover from their own challenges throughout the year. Was it worth taking on the extra work, Me? Did our colleagues feel refreshed after a well-deserved break? I hope they did. Me, did you remember to reach out to all those friends I rarely talk to now and check in on how they are going? I am sure they will appreciate it! I can get lost comfortable in my own self-sustaining bubble sometimes that I forget that there are people out there, too, in their own bubbles and we are just floating in our own self-driven isolation. I will pop that bubble for you, Me, if you promise you have tried your best to reach out to people.

There are so many different things I would love to explore, so many different things to keep myself healthy and happy! But I can only choose a few to dedicate my time to. What would you rather do, Me? Will you write a letter to ourselves yet again, expressing your wishes for us all? I highly recommend it – turns out writing a letter to yourself is very therapeutic! It has helped me focus a lot tonight and I have rather enjoyed the introspection. Maybe that is something else I can do this year! Meditate. Critique myself. Get to know myself. Me, I will know you as well as I know the back of our hand very soon!

I know that expectations can be hard, but I promise you these will leave you healthier, stronger, wiser and happier. I am so proud of you for attempting to fulfill my wishes and please know that I am not disappointed in you if you can’t. The secret is that these are not mere 12-month-long aspirations. As you are reading this, these wishes for you haven’t ended all of a sudden. If you can’t achieve the above in the next 12 months then that is okay, because we have so much time ahead of us and self development doesn’t have a start or an end; it is a fluid, constantly in motion thing. Most of the time we don’t even notice how we change through a year but at least by writing you this letter I am giving you a measurement. Let us craft good habits together and work towards and healthy future.

Good luck, Me. I am sure if you could write me back, you would wish me luck too.