My Secret to Finding True Inner Peace
A personal revelation
Three years ago, my husband asked me what was it that I wanted as a birthday present.
A simple question on an ordinary day that led me to a deep introspection of my life.
I looked around me, pondered for days and realized wow, there was actually nothing that I wanted!
It was either I have everything a person could ask for, or I have achieved a level of contentment that I am perfectly happy where I was.
Then a series of meaningful coincidences happened that turned my life upside down... and Bam! I woke up one day, different.
I don’t even know the right word to call what exactly happened to me. I could be wrong and presumptuous if I call it spiritual awakening or enlightenment, but I know deep inside me that I found out the TRUTH about who I really am.
And it HEALED me.
The truth that I’ve come to know is not a new concept/theory/idea/opinion/belief. We all have come across this revelation before; we may have heard it, read it, watched it. Many religions have taught it. It is the TRUTH that I am, we are, all, an eternal being.
No beginning, no end. The One God, the One Source, the One Energy that split Itself into countless pieces of creation to experience life in different forms. I am a piece of that Divinity experiencing human life as Me, Nina.
Same goes for you and every other creature that exists.
And with that realization, I came to know another truth. That YOU and I are ONE.
That the man who beat my brother to death ten years ago and I are one.
That the person who shot my father when I was three years old and I are one.
That the individual who scammed us of all our life savings is also me living another life.
Everybody who has loved or wronged me in this life are all me. We are all one.
And this was enough for me to finally say I have found my answer.
This understanding didn’t come from my head but was felt deeply in my soul.
A feeling of space opening up in my heart that gave me so much more capacity to love.
During this process, I felt like an onion peeling layer per layer the things that weighed me down.
I have learned that I can love anything and everything, anyone and everyone to a greater extent without any fear of getting hurt, of losing it/them or not being loved back. I have learned to love without expectations.
I have learned to live with less fear. I no longer fear the death of a loved one, nor my own death.
I no longer fear loss of any kind, not being accepted or loved, being alone or things not going the way I may have preferred.
I have learned to forgive others and myself. This doesn’t mean I no longer feel hurt, but I stopped seeing myself as a victim.
My voice condition, losing my father and my brother, being in a dysfunctional family, having experiences that made me feel less.
I stopped labeling things that happened/happens/ happening or will happen to me as “good” or “bad.”
I can go back to any moment in my past without feeling any regret, guilt, pain or vindictiveness.
When something or someone upsets me, (yes I still do get upset often) I now try my best not to even be in a “forgiving” frame of mind but in an “understanding” frame of mind.
And with that, I go to bed with a clean slate without bottling up any negative emotions towards something/someone.
I have less worry and resistance to situations I couldn’t control. I have learned to detach from the outcome of everything I do.
If I don’t get the job, the promotion, the project, the treatment I felt I deserve; it has become easier for me to accept that it wasn’t for me, or trust that the situation is teaching me something. Hence, I was able to practice gratitude for every situation and person I encounter.
Most of all I have learned to love myself. More. And know that what I do for my Self, I do for another and what I do for another, I do for my Self.
I know that I am far from perfect. I still have my flaws and weaknesses but I have learned to accept them as part of me.
I realized that I have a diverse collection of experiences; life lessons learned that added color not to my physical body but to my soul.
Like a butterfly that had gone through its stages as a caterpillar.
And all these experiences gave me the opportunity to be able to relate more to other people’s feelings which for me is more important than any worldly accomplishment in this lifetime.