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My Ideal Future

An English Paper

By Michelle WerbeckPublished 5 years ago 8 min read
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Photo by Anne-Marie Robert on Unsplash

The tears hit me around 10:00 pm. My world was falling apart, and I could barely stand, let alone see straight. Suddenly my plans for the future were skyrocketing out of control and I was hit with a dilemma. I had to make a choice. A choice that would affect my future as well as the possibility of having a family in the future.

This was the problem. My entire life I have been told that in order to do well for myself I need to go to college, have a high paying job, and my husband needed to do the same. Well, that was no longer an option. My boyfriend hated college, and instead decided to enter straight into the workforce. The major I was in had no wiggle room for a family, and God was calling me to follow a different path.

I called my mother. This was my natural reaction anytime something was not going as planned. She picked up on the first ring.

“Hey, is everything okay? I’m not used to you calling so late,” she said in a concerned voice.

My uncontrollable sobs came as the response.

She began to panic, “What’s wrong? Is everything okay? What’s going on?”

My sobs continued before I finally got the words out explaining the problem. I told her, “I don’t think I’m supposed to be in this major, but I’m scared to change it, and nothing seems to be going right.”

I blabbered like this for a while before I heard her sigh on the other end of the line. She took a deep breath, “Well Michelle, you know that your father and I are going to support you no matter what you choose, but can we talk about this tomorrow because it’s too late for me to be dealing with this right now.

There was a pause before I said, “Okay, goodnight. I love you.”

“Goodnight, I love you too. Just calm down. It’s going to be okay,” she responded.

She hung up and I sat and waited a while longer while my thoughts all hit me at once. They took me back to the first time I thought I knew what I wanted my future to look like.

When I was in elementary school, I decided that I wanted to be a veterinarian because I loved animals so much. I stuck to this like glue for many years. It was probably late middle school to early high school when I figured out seeing blood makes me nauseous and seeing animals in pain or distress just makes me cry. My parents supported me with both, and when I decided I did not know what I wanted to do they helped me try and figure out what interested me. That is when my mother suggested going into broadcasting.

It seemed like a cool job to be able to write stories off camera and then be able to talk about those stories on camera. That seemed right up my alley considering I was fairly comfortable in front of people since I had started doing acting in middle school and continued with it throughout high school and writing was something I always enjoyed doing in my free time. So, I went with it. I decided it was a good plan and I would stick to it. I would stick to it like glue.

I started school at Western with a major in communications and a double concentration in journalism and broadcasting, but after the first few weeks, something did not feel quite right. I loved the classes. I loved the school, but for some reason, I felt like I was being pulled away from my original decision. Again, I thought back to my younger years as I tried to figure out what I truly wanted out of life.

When I was seven and eight, American Girl dolls were all the rage. They were pricey, but as a seven-year-old little girl, I did not have much of a concept of money and naturally asked for one for Christmas. I got my first one Christmas of 2007, right before I turned eight. Then the next year I got another one. I played with them constantly. I would set them up sitting next to each other pretending as if they were students in a classroom and I was teaching them. I would grade their tests and papers and have them bicker about silly things, and also carry them around on my hip while walking around the house pretending that they were my children. It was fun.

When I was about 13, I began coaching volleyball. I had played for several years’ prior, but the local Parks and Recreation Department needed volunteer coaches and I needed volunteer hours so I thought I would try it. My first year I coached girls from second to fifth grade, and it was a blast. Most of them were taller than me. Most of them had never seen let alone touched a volleyball in their life. Teaching them how to pass, set, and serve the ball over the net and to one another was a different kind of excitement. It was so incredible to see their skill level at the beginning of the season versus the end and how much they had improved. It was fun.

When I was a senior in high school, I turned 18 and as if by magic my baby fever began, or I should say it became more severe than it was already. I would see a child in a store or out on the playground running and laughing and I could not help but smile and sometimes even cry. I did not want one of my own at least not yet, but I wanted to be around them. I wanted to be the one to help them read and learn that pushing past someone or picking on someone is not polite. I wanted to help teach them what was right and wrong. It seemed like it would be fun.

I wanted to use these memories to explain why my mindset changed so drastically rather than just to bring up fond memories from my childhood. These memories are what drove me to make a new decision and helped me realize what I truly wanted out of life.

I did not want a job that would cause me to work hours out of my control. I did not want a job that would cause me to stay away from home and my family. My ideal future consisted of a family. Suddenly it did not matter to me if I was working a job that made me happy; do not get me wrong I do still want that, but that is not the most important thing. I want a job that will give me plenty of time to have and build a family. All I have ever wanted out of life is a great husband and a yard full of children running around and laughing.

This is what led me to decide on teaching as a career. I would get to spend every day with children. I would get to stand up and teach in front of them, see how they improved from the beginning of the year to the end, and help them learn right from wrong. It would be a stable career that would allow me time to have and build a family. And that is all I want from life.

For a while, I struggled to find that this was something that was not only reasonable but acceptable. I see young adults my age and younger that do not want to go to college or want to go for something that their parents do not support or approve of. Many of my friends through my childhood had parents tell them if they went to school for what they wanted whether that was acting, painting, etc., they would not help pay for it. Luckily my parents have never treated me in this manner.

The problem with having this mindset is you are forcing your child into something that they are not passionate about and then you wonder why they do not do well in the field or are not happy with the job they end up in. As much as I think most parents are good role models and know what is best for their kids, I believe it is equally important to be a supportive parent that lets their children make their own mistakes and follow their own dreams.

For some their ideal future consists of becoming president, acting on Broadway, or playing a professional sport. For others, it is getting married, having children, and watching their friends go on and become president or play a professional sport. Both versions are okay because they are what YOU want. Not what your parent wants. Not what is going to make you rich, but what is going to make you happy beyond your wildest dreams.

Close your eyes. Picture your future ten-years from now or even 15 or 25. What are you doing? Who is with you? Where are you at? If it is not something that you are working towards right now, then you need to ask yourself why you are not trying to reach the goal that is in your future.

I ran from my ideal future for so long. It was always there in the back of my mind. I always knew that it consisted of a big happy family. I thought that if I told people that was what I wanted I would be looked down upon because I do not want a big house and a high paying job.

My ideal future will not be the same as my friends, my parents, or my neighbors because it is distinctly mine. You may have ideals that overlap with others, but your version is uniquely your own. Hold onto it and do not let it go, but most importantly work towards it.

happiness
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About the Creator

Michelle Werbeck

WCU'22

insta: shellabella2000

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