Mid-Life Crisis Before 30
How a Life Full of Dreads Help Fix Everything
It took me a long time to muster up the courage to take my life back. I got into a tumultuous relationship, straight after a stint in juvenile detention. I was in a confined facility where we were also able to see the boys being held. I was close to 18 and had already completed a GED and Adult diploma. I got to spend my time tutoring the other losers in that place to get their GED's.
I call them losers, because that's what we were. We were juveniles in a detention facility because we were badass.
Just kidding. It was mostly underage prostitution, thieves and druggies. So yes, we were all losers. Maybe I'll do a piece in the future about what got me there. I'll wait for the public outcry needing answers. (FYI it was none of the aforementioned offenses)
Anyways, I took my pick of the crop on who I thought was the most eligible inmate.
Unlucky for me, I ended up in a whirlwind of violence and chaos which lead me to 10 years of deep depression, anxiety, and self loathing.
It also lead to, what I believe, was my mid-life crisis.
When I realized that I did have the mental capability to get away from the situation, I did what I think alot of women do.
Changed my hair.
I don't mean changed like, dyed or possibly got an extreme new a-line haircut. (which I've done also)
I dreadlocked my hair.
I spent weeks doing research, watching youtube videos, learning. The aggressive ex was in my ear the whole time telling me how disgusting it was. How dirty I would look. How unattractive it would make me. Which was exactly the push I needed.
I think a part of me believed if I could make myself unattractive to him, he would let me go easier.
So I started. Hours and hours of backcombing, twisting, knotting. It took me 2 weeks. I received a ton of backlash. From my family, my job, my kids thought it was crazy.
There were a lot of amazing people that loved what I was doing too. There were and still are, very few people that knew about the sociopathic and abusive situation I was in.
The ones that loved what I was doing without knowing how much of an internally necessary thing it was, are invaluable. I fux witchu guys tuff 🤙🏻
It worked. I changed my hair. I changed my entire mindset. It was like something just clicked. I was getting so much criticism for my appearance. Which was normal. (I've always been on the gothy side.) But this, this was different.
The liberation that came along with extreme disconnect from typical society was the freeing I needed. The wallflowers, outsiders, wanderers. They all found me. People I needed in my life were drawn to me. They taught me how to love myself without needing validation. Something that gets lost along the way for so many of us..
I don't have my dreads now. I miss them terribly. I had them for a little over a year, and I loved every second of it. It took over a month of tedious picking to finally get my head back to normal. It was just time.
I still have alot of everyday life struggles, but I'm not stuck anymore. No longer wondering when I'm going to get away. I found a way to myself. I think that's what a mid-life crisis is all about. Remembering who you wanted to be before life swept you up.
About the Creator
Casey. OneHighMom
Blogger. Wild imagination runner. Cannabis connisuer. I'm probably writing about the same things as you, just from a (high)er perspective. Avid crocheter.
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