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Looking at the Past with Gratitude

How can we embrace the past with open arms?

By Amanda DoylePublished 2 years ago 3 min read
Photo by Elia Pellegrini on

In life, people grow apart. This is a natural process in life, and it happens all the time, every day. As life is about growth, it only makes sense that sometimes, people outgrow each other.

I am a person who loves a fresh start.

I have always been one to clear out the old and make room for the new, sometimes to a fault. I have been the type to stop talking to friends because we don't vibe anymore, and maybe not doing it in the best way.

For that, I apologize. There have been a lot of times where I've acted in ways that were rude or just entirely uncalled for.

But I'm not sorry for the friends that I used to have. The people that I used to know. They're still important to me, even though they're not in my life anymore.

Everything in life is an experience. Any connection with another person is an experience that we should value. I do value the lessons and experiences that I have gained from my past friendships.

There's a lot of friends from my past that I don't talk to anymore. One comes to mind, someone that I had been on and off with for most of my life, and then we had a big falling out. I knew I started it, because I felt like I was changing and that she wasn't really respecting that. The point is, I'm not mad that this happened. I'm not upset, wishing that I had never met her.

I appreciate what she taught me about boundaries and trust. I appreciate the times when she was a good friend. I appreciate all of the positive memories that I have with her.

Another person in mind, I don't talk to him at all anymore and haven't for a while. After some of the things he said to me when we were kids, I should hate him, but I don't.

He taught me lots at that time in my life too. And I appreciate the good memories.

Most of all, I appreciate these relationships that had faded purely because I know that these people were important to me at some point. How can I dismiss all of the past, dismissing the people that were once my world?

It's hard to let go, I'll definitely admit that. After I fell out with my friend, the first one I mentioned, I felt bad about it for a long time afterwards. I still do sometimes. I feel guilty. I feel anxious.

But we have to learn to hold on to the good parts, and let go of all the rest that we don't need. The stuff that doesn't serve us anymore.

I am so thankful for all of the positives that I have had in my life. I will be the first to tell you that I have had some amazing experiences with some amazing people. That's what I hold on to.

When I think of these faded friendships, I think of the good memories and the good times we had. I don't think of our disagreements or why we're not talking anymore or what happened.

Part of living your most authentic self involves forgiving yourself for the times that you might have acted like an asshole, even if no one is really listening.

Does a tree make a sound if it falls in an empty forest? Yes - there is still an impact and a reason why the tree fell. The tree still exists and has to live with itself. We can be comforted knowing that the tree makes a sound for itself, and no one else.

self help

About the Creator

Amanda Doyle

Currently in my bad bitch era.

Online authenticity coach and tarot guide, here to help you become the most genuine version of yourself online.

Unleash your inner magic with me and own your unique journey!

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