Letter To Myself

Dear Self,

Was today one of those days that you couldn't get out of bed?

Was today one of those days that you couldn't think because your head hurts so much?

Was today one of those days that you feel like a thousand feet at stepping on your brain through a foggy curtain?

And you want to make it stop but you can't because you don't even know whose feet it is?

Was today one of those days that you wondered why you were alive - when you could give your life to someone who would make use of it?

Was today one of those days that you feel like millions of fingers are pointing are you accusing yourself of failing and being fake?

Was today one of those days that you think every single decision that you make was worthless?

Was today one of those days that you felt disappointed to wake up?

Because you wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep?

Was today one of those days where you just want to curl up and hope that at least your organs are saved before you are gone so someone can benefit from your small existence?

And then after all that, did you berate and abuse yourself for feeling down because somewhere out there, other people are suffering more?

So you suck up those blasted feelings, wipe away those tears, and paste on a shaky smile, hoping that it will block out everything?

Was today one of the days that you question humanity and wonder if it's worth it to continue what seems to be a hopeless cause?

It's tough, right?

You want to disappear, but you can't.

It's rough, right?

You want to hide, but you can't.

It's tiring, right?

You want to stop, but you can't.

It's lonely, right?

You want to cry, but it's too cold,

You want to love someone, but you can't even love yourself.

Well, that and because everyone you love seems to not love you.

You're alone.

But you know:

It's ok to be slow.

It's ok to be hurt.

It's ok to be lost.

It's ok to not know.

It's ok to fail.

It's ok to start again.

It's ok to fail again.

It's ok to do something.

It's ok to do nothing.

When there is no one to hug you, get a cup of something warm.

When there is no one to listen to you, take out the prayer mat.

When there is no one to understand you, watch a random comedy show.

When there is no one to hold you, go for a walk and look at the sky.

When there is no one to cry with you, invest in some ice cream and chocolates.

If you're hurt, take the blanket, listen to music and sleep for a while.

Don't let the pain crowd out the voices of good.

If you're tired, stop, take a rest, and look around you.

Don't let the fatigue cloud the gifts you have been given.

If you're sad, feel it - don't ignore it - and let it ebb away far from you.

Don't let the sea of sorrow block your road to happiness.

If you're anxious, open the window, let the fresh air in, and feel the world outside of you.

Don't let the worries overshadow your present moment.

One breath at a time.

One step at a time.

One thought at a time.

One action at a time.

Be grateful for all that you have.

Be mindful of all your words. Say only good things because that will be your prayers.

Love yourself as you would be willing to love others.

With all the hope.

With all the good.

With all the love in the world.