Motivation logo

Learning to forgiveness

A vital step to living your best life.

By Destiny SmallsPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
Like

Have you ever been so angry at someone and thought, ¨this is something I can never forgive and move on from.¨ But what did you do, you moved on and you were happy again. It is never easy to forgive someone who has hurt you but it is not impossible to do so.

Forgiveness does not mean you forget what has happened to you. You know the saying ´forgive and forget´. NOPE! You can forgive, that does not mean you gain amnesia and move on like nothing happened to you. That would be a bunch of foolishness and we are not foolish here.

Make your boundaries known to yourself and the person around you. Following that you do not need to forget what has happened to you or how a person violated you. You can keep that person around you to a point that they don't know personal issues about you, or they know none of your business, OR THEY DO NOT NEED TO BE AROUND YOU AT ALL!!! GIRL, they do not deserve access to you after a person violates you! They fucked up royally and they need to know that. That is a part of self care, knowing that someone hurt you and cutting them the hell off.

Stand up for yourself and know when to tell people to kiss your ass. They need to know what they did and how it made you feel. You do not deserve anyone who is going to walk all over you like it's okay. You are a beautiful person with real emotions and that deserves to be known. Let them know that ¨Hey, how you treat me and what you do to me is awful and I am definitely not going to stand for it anymore!¨

Forgive yourself before anything else. I know that sounds crazy, but I was always told in order to forgive someone else you need to forgive yourself for letting it happen. That is so true. You have to acknowledge that sometimes these people saw a lick and licked it. All that means is they saw that you were vulnerable and self-conscious and went full steam ahead with their true colors and red flags. And now that we know, we must take the time to say to ourselves ¨ I forgive myself for allowing this to happen to me for as long as I did and will no longer accept this type of behavior from anyone, ever again.¨ Inner forgiveness first, then you can begin to process to forgive others.

Be true to who you are and never allow anyone to change you, no matter how horrific the event. This might be the hardest part. Some things that people are asking forgiveness for never truly know how painful it is to know that someone you have trusted has hurt you. That can change you and want to turn you into a completely different person. D0 not let it because there is nothing wrong with who you are! People are jerks and assholes and that is just the reality of it. But that does not mean you stop being wonderful and gracious and kind. Other people's behavior should never affect you to the point of wanting to hide who you truly are.

They are not worth you being unhappy over. That's all. You are happy because you deserve it and you do not need to be suffering over some jerk.

To be honest I have no idea who this is going to help or if my advice is actually helpful. But this is how I choose to look at it. I hope your healing is not only healthy but makes you feel wondrous everyday.

healing
Like

About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.