Joy VS Happiness

Joy and happiness. They are often used interchangeably and spoken of as one and the same, but that is not exactly true.

Joy is defined by Merriam Webster as: The emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune.

Whereas happiness is defined by Merriam Webster as: A state of well-being and contentment.

Although these definitions are similar, these words are actually very different.

Happiness is based upon external happenings and circumstances of things happening to you or going on around you. For this reason, its existence in your life is subject to change. Whether you're having a good day or a bad day will, for the most part, determine your happiness level. Happiness is an external emotion based on external stimuli.

Joy, however, is an internal emotion that remains steadfast. Joy does not change regardless of its circumstances, for it is controlled by a person's heart and not what is going on around them. Joy is really bound up in what is happening in a person internally. Their life situations or circumstances do not determine their joyfulness level. You can be joyful when you're happy, and you can also be joyful when you're sad. Joy is a heart issue, which is internal.

Allow me to share an illustration:

John and Suzy have been married for 45 years. They have lived prosperous and successful lives up until now. They are both retired now and have been traveling and enjoying life. Throughout these 45 years, John has been living his life based on external stimuli. If things are going well, he's happy. If they're not going so well, it can ruin his entire day. Everything is always determined by his feelings. Suzy, however, has been living her life all these years from a place of joy because she has decided not to live her life based on her feelings and external circumstances. Suzy has been living her life based on the premise of just being grateful to be alive. She recognizes that sometimes things will happen that she has absolutely no control over, but she does have control over how she reacts to them. Suzy decided a long time ago not to let her feelings dictate what kind of day she will have, or for that matter what kind of life she will have. She has learned that in the midst of whatever is going on, she still can be joyful.

Sadly, Suzy becomes ill with a debilitating disease. John becomes her caretaker and he does it gladly because he loves her. However, being a caretaker begins to take a toll on John. Suzy's frequent hospital stays, doctor visits, and prescription medication begins to deplete their retirement nest egg. The happy go lucky man John used to be is being depleted as well, because of his circumstances. He continues to take care of Suzy out of a sense of duty. However, from his perspective, this duty has become a burden. His happiness has been replaced by resentment because Suzy's illness has him in a place that he does not want to be. He misses their life before the illness and he wishes things could just be like they were before. John is also secretly perturbed about his wife's attitude because he cannot understand it. He rarely smiles anymore and he cannot recall the last time he was really happy.

Suzy, on the other hand, is taking her illness in stride. She has made a quality decision to remain joyful regardless of the state she's in. She does not like the fact that she can no longer take care of herself. She doesn't like the frequent hospital stays and doctor visits, nor does she like taking the prescription medication. She has some bad days and she even has times of crying and sadness. However, even in these most difficult times and amidst the circumstances of her new life she is always full of joy. Why? Because she made a quality decision a long time ago to live her life that way, not allowing her circumstances to dictate how she responds to life. Suzy's joy comes from an inward place. Suzy recognizes that bad things do happen to good people. Suzy is grateful that she is still alive and can still offer some contribution to society. Suzy's strength and joy come from an inward place, but she is also strengthened and encouraged by the doctors, nurses, and even her husband, John, who continues to tell her what an inspiration she is to them.

Friends that come to visit Suzy always ask her how she keeps a smile on her face and maintains such a good attitude. Suzy is quick to let them know that it is what's in her that allows her to remain her full of joy. Suzy told them she is determined to live her life in peace, not pieces. She understands that life dealt her a bad hand and she did not have a say in that, but she does have a say in how she chooses to respond to it.

This short fictional story represents well the difference in happiness and joy and what's the big deal between the two. It also affords us the opportunity to take self-inventory.