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It's never too late to Achieve your Dreams.

When life tries to break you, it's easy to give up.

By Carol TownendPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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It's never too late to Achieve your Dreams.
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

After all the trauma I went through, I thought that I was never going to recover. My childhood was tormented by bullying and abuse, and my adultlife was just as bad. For many years it was a constant struggle of gaining everything and losing everything all over again. I faced a severe struggle with my mental health, and it was a constant battle to keep myself out of hospital of which I ended up in on many occassions. After many long years, I gave up trying for a very long time, that was until my final battle resulted in losing a child to adoption because my mental health became so bad, I wasn't coping anymore. I had further losses after that, my gran died and my dad died. I was falling back into a deep dark pit of going nowhere, and not wanting to get out of bed in the mornings. I definately did not want this life of pain anymore.

I Had to Wake Up to Myself

This was easier said than done. I had trapped myself in an endless pit of depression and I no longer wanted to do anything with my life. I felt useless and worthless, and I thought everyone around me was better and more intelligent than me. This was made worse by the fact that my Record of Achievement I gained at school had been stolen from me back in the 90's. A Record of Achievement was given to school-leavers, it is a folder containing qualifications and certificates gained from school. Sadly, I never retrieved those certificates. They were the only things I held that made me feel good about myself, and I never managed to find real work without them, which made me feel bad, and finding employment was simply unachievable.

I felt lost, and it seemed I was always on a path of failing everything. Feeling like a failure added to my depression, and the more I felt this way, the worse life became. I felt like I was in a deep stormy sea, just drowning, rather than living.

I had to do something about this, because I didn't want to live an empty life anymore, but before I could do that, I had to deal with the voices in my head from the bullies from my past who told me I wasn't worth it. I sat with a pen and a notebook, and wrote all the things that I remembered about myself before the trauma, and here is what I found:

  1. I am good at reading and writing
  2. I enjoy singing and dancing
  3. I have a massive love of music
  4. I'm good at humanities
  5. I'm creative with cooking
  6. I'm a caring person
  7. I am a very friendly person
  8. I am enthusiastic
  9. I can be creative with makeup
  10. I love studying.

I studied this list for an hour and I thought to myself what if I could turn at least one of these into a career? I realized that these were good qualities about myself, and I started focusing on them, which woke me up and made me realize I wasn't useless at all

I STARTED WRITING THINGS ON PAPER

I spent a good couple of hours doing this. I wrote stories, poems, journals, whatever came into my head. I learned alot about my style and discovered my enjoyment was in writing. I read books for hours and studied the humanities with the Open University, in which I had to write critical essays about books, art, music, television, poetry and even buildings. This was really hard at first, because I never got the chance to go to a physical college or a university, but the confidence I got from this was elating. I wrote a private journal with thoughts and feelings in it, and also ideas about writing. I wrote everything, even if it sounded silly, then I tried to put those ideas together. I became absorbed in this for hours, and then I realised I also enjoyed writing stories, after this I became creative, writing every story I could think of using pen and paper.

I reached out to the Web and started Writing on Platforms

I started writing on the web with Vocal. However, I didn't start writing immediately, I read plenty of other articles first, so that I could get a feeling for the site. When I first started out, I didn't like much of what I had written but everyone has to start somewhere, so I started with true-experiences, writing mostly on a topic I know more about, mental health and stigma. Recently, I have expanded on this, moving forward to also write on other topics, including experiences and memories that I found humour in. I also started blogging on blogger, which I am currently working on and building up. I have articles on Medium too. My only problem is sharing, though it is fun trying to find sites and people to share with, and get people to read and love my work.

Writing has taught me Your Never too old to Reach your Dreams

Writing has given me so much confidence, and brought out a talent that I forgot I had. Since I started writing, I have gone on to work on a book. Working on a book takes time, though it is fun to do, and I can't wait to publish it. I am now 44, but after years of losing everything, I thought that it was too late to reach my dreams. However, negative thinking can put obstacles in our way and stop us from trying, so I hope that everyone realises what I have, and that is it is never too late to reach your dreams.

I like to write for fun aswell as for career purposes. Tips help me to buy study books and materials to keep me learning and writing, but hearts give me more confidence. Please be kind enough to do one or the other. It doesn't matter which, because any which way helps me to know it is worth holding onto that dream. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and thank you Vocal, for giving me a headstart.

self help
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About the Creator

Carol Townend

Fiction, Horror, Sex, Love, Mental Health, Children's fiction and more. You'll find many stories in my profile. I don't believe in sticking with one Niche! I write, but I also read a lot too.

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