Interesting Enough

Interesting enough

I am at the point of tearing down buildings and destroying planes, metaphorically of course. Through mindless weeks of feeding my (what already feels like) massive brain, and making ends meet. I guess you can say, “Welcome to Fucking Adulthood!” How exciting. My question is, what makes growing up look so cool throughout our childhoods? I would think freedom, but lets be real, that doesn’t really exist in this capitalistic country right now. Thinking, with my big brain, I suspect that materialistic marketing for many companies were in play; let me rephrase, replay.

I can’t tell you how much television I was watching as a kid. I would be watching weekend morning cartoons on local channels and would memorize commercial ads. Sometimes the ads would be on radio stations and I will sing the jingle continuously, having it stuck in everyone’s head that day. Now, we see adulthood in reality, to where there is just too much to learn all at once. Learning adult daily life stuff, like rent, jobs, and vehicle, on top of that other expenses to learn how to manage, including credit and the listen goes on. I guess my point is, I am not a person that got to learn any financial and economical responsibility while growing up. I am presently learning how to budget my shit for this upcoming year.

It seems like a lot of thinking on my personal time, well it is. Not only am I self-educating in life skills, but I am also taking advantage of my youth of studying as much as I can. I hope there will be many young people love the older version of me, with wisdom to give. There is not a particular version of myself I see in the future though. Who’s to say how long we live, can people actually calculate that with so much going on around us every second?

It's funny, the feeling of irresponsibility and laziness is still there in the back of my head. But it's time to keep that head up and keep going, for the future.

It can be the craziest time at this point, since I haven’t had worse yet, but I am biting the bullet. For what it’s worth, I have spent so long being scared to be who I feel I am, now there isn’t someone guiding me in a way where I have to consider. Now, taking a big step in this world for myself and there are still others to get through. Good luck out there and always be kind to one another.