I Was

When I was a little girl, I was to be a Rockette. Or maybe the next famous pop singer. I was to be rescued by a prince in my castle. I was to land on the moon or I was to dive deep into the ocean and take the most breathtaking photos ever seen. I was to be Jacque Custos sidekick traveling the world for PBS. I was to cook with Julia Childs and meet amazing people from all over the world. Each time I was standing under the moon, barefoot, and pretending. I was so many things. The world was a vast place of learning and I was going to gobble all of it up. I wanted to dance with the Stars, those on the ground and those floating in space.

I would stand singing to the moon or playing Jesus Christ Superstar over over and over on the turntable. I was. I was to be. I was to be the next model for the Perfume Charlie or Levi Jeans as I loved Roy Orbison so much. My curly hair and chubby face were to be on magazines around the world in some fashion haute couture show. I was to be the next president, concerned about the welfare of our country and a change maker. Maybe the next Kennedy. I was to be the one who got stopped at the grocery to sign hundreds of autographs and to blow kisses into the CBS cameras.

I was to help Blueberry and Strawberry Shortcake solve the mystery of the stolen necklace and the frogs I caught? They would, of course, turn into my dream husband and my world would become safe. It would become free of sadness. Free of pain. Free of worry. Free of hurt. Free of being hit. Free of being told I was to be… nothing. I would be told that I would be lucky to graduate high school without being pregnant. Or that I was destined to be a slut. I had two left feet and no mathematical skills to warrant Marine Biology. I had a tin ear and no sense of direction. New York wouldn't want me.

As I grew, I ended up in foster homes as I had an attitude problem and no one could deal with me. I ended up fighting so hard just to graduate high school. Then to graduate college. I did not become pregnant until my late 20s and drugs? No Bueno. Not me. I married the same type of person. A person who crushed all my dreams. All my wants. He would fight me tooth and nail over my opinion and what I wished for. The fights would be as petty as the color of our children's shoes. He would return them if I did not choose what he wanted.

Years have gone by and at this time? I am. I am happily divorced. I am a multi-book author and an international radio talk show host. I am a VERY proud momma to an amazing daughter and I have traveled outside the USA. I will be working on getting my diving license this year and well? I have given out my autograph a few times. Not hundreds, but that's ok. I have been on TV, Radio, and well? Maybe not as a singer or dancer, but as a strong woman who wants to change the narrative of others who have or are living in a tough place. I might still be the next president but today? I am. I am just me. I might not be Jacque Custos Sidekick but I'll be diving because he inspired me to love the ocean. I cook very well and I know Julia Childs would be pleased. As far as kissing frogs? Yeah. There will be some of that. Life has a funny way of offering adventures. The Universe decided a long time ago who I was to be.

I am.

I am me.

Free of worry. Free of Pain. Free of hurt.

Until next time...

Contact:

Living & Thriving with Rustie

2828 S Mccall Rd

32–4

Englewood, FL 34224