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I Once Took Out a $7,000 Loan to Get Cosmetic Surgery

by JennyB 2 years ago in healing
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Looking young for my age has always bothered me.

I used to be obsessed with America’s Next Top Model when I was fifteen years old. I believe I’ve watched the first eight seasons of the show and loved every minute of it.

I wanted to audition to be on the show, but being 5’2, I was too short. I was also overweight and did not want to audition as a plus-size model.

Being disqualified before applying didn’t bother me because I knew I wasn’t going to apply in the first place. After all, I felt like I was too ugly to be accepted.

Most of the girls on the show were gorgeous, and I thought, “how the hell am I supposed to compete with someone like that?”

Feeling like I have an ugly face wasn’t my only complaint, I also have a very young-looking face. Now, I don’t want you all to start saying I will be happy about that when I’m older.

I’ll indeed be grateful for having a young-looking face when I’m in my 60’s, but I don’t particularly appreciate looking like I’m in my late teens, early 20’s when I’m in my 30’s.

I have a congenital growth hormone deficiency, which means I was born with growth hormone deficiency.

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Growth hormone deficiency is a rare disorder characterized by the inadequate secretion of growth hormone (GH) from the anterior pituitary gland, a small gland located at the base of the brain responsible for the production of several hormones.

GH is more common in children than adults, but a child with GHD will continue to have the disorder into adulthood. GHD occurs in roughly 1 in 7,000 births.

The condition is also a symptom of several genetic diseases, including Turner syndrome and Prader-Willi syndrome. I have several traits of Turner syndrome, but that is another story for another day.

Looking so young has bothered me because I connect better with people who are eight to eleven years older.

My best friend Shayla is eleven years older than me, but I don’t feel like I was born a decade after her because our souls are glued together.

Having a young-looking face has made me feel like I’m not taken seriously as an adult because I look like I’m around nineteen to twenty years old.

I want to be taken seriously as an adult and have guys in their late 30’s to early 40’s attracted to me since I’m attracted to guys in that age range.

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Growth Hormone Deficiency Has Caused Some Problems in My Life.

G HD has some unpleasant side effects, which has made life hard.

One of the most common symptoms of growth hormone deficiency in children is that a child is significantly shorter than children his or her age.

When I was younger, my doctors told my parents that the tallest I would be is 4’8.

After taking growth hormone shots for several years, my height got up to 5’2, which I have stayed at since I was sixteen.

Another symptom of GHD that I have found to be the hardest to deal with is “having an immature appearance, compared to peers.”

I was the oldest in my whole grade since I took kindergarten twice because I missed a lot of the school year in my first year of kindergarten due to my health issues and hearing loss.

Since I looked young compared to everyone in my grade, you would have a hard time believing I was the oldest.

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Looking Young for My Age Has Always Bothered Me.

I have never liked how young I look, and it bothered me a lot growing up, still does.

I hated being treated like a child or as someone more youthful than my actual age.

I tried my hardest to act mature so that I could be treated as an adult, but that never changed how young my face looked.

Thinking I had an ugly looking, and young-looking face, I decided to do something about it, so I could finally feel happy with how I look.

I decided to get cosmetic surgery on my face.

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I Went to A Consultation with A Plastic Surgeon with The Sole Purpose of Scheduling My Appointment.

S hayla, my best friend of eleven years, went to the consultation with me. Many older women were waiting, probably for their Botox appointments, so I felt kind of out of place there.

Since why would a girl with a young-looking face be at a plastic surgeon’s office? I met with the surgeon and explained to him what I wanted to have done.

I wanted to get a nose job, a little bit of a chin implant to make my heart-shaped face more noticeable and get a small amount of liposuction on my neck.

I wanted all this work done in the hopes of looking more my age.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t make the appointment right then since I didn’t have enough money to make a deposit.

I knew I needed to take out a loan so I could get this surgery.

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I Took Out A $7,000 Loan to Get Cosmetic Surgery on My Face.

I went to the bank on the day before Halloween in 2018 and took out a $7,000 loan for my surgery, not realizing that my loan amount didn’t cover the full amount of my surgery.

Instead of getting surgery on my face, I decided to go hog wild and spend the entire loan on who knows what.

It’s been 20 months since I took out that loan and spent it all, and I’m still drowning in the monthly payments.

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My Low Self-Esteem Caused Me to Be Reckless and Make Poor Choices.

I allowed myself to be consumed by my low self-esteem, and the result was I made poor choices that are affecting my life to this day.

I wasn’t thinking about what would happen if I took out that loan and how it would complicate my life by putting me in more debt.

I chose to focus on the fact that I wanted to get cosmetic surgery on my face since that’s the only way I can be pretty and look more my age.

Even after taking out the loan and accepting that the surgery wasn’t happening, I still chose to spend the money on whatever I want, not thinking about having to pay it back.

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Learn Ways to Build Up Your Self-Esteem Without Making Poor Choices.

If we want to feel confident about ourselves and in our own skin, we need to learn ways to build up our self-esteem. And we need to do that without making poor choices.

I thought getting cosmetic surgery would make me feel pretty and build up my self-esteem by looking more my age.

But I made the poor choice of taking out a $7,000 loan not cluing in that it wasn’t enough and made the poor decision of spending the whole amount of the loan on random things instead of just paying back the entire loan.

I tried to build up my self-esteem by making a poor choice, and all it did was bite me in the butt.

Getting cosmetic surgery is completely fine, that’s if you go about it the right way and are smart about it.

Before I can get cosmetic surgery on my face, I need to go about it the right way, and I’m smart about how I do it, there are some things I need to do.

Before taking out a loan for that amount of money — because that’s a considerable amount — I should try to put myself on a budget and get out of debt.

That way, I’m not adding a lot more money to the debt I already owe. Another thing I can do to help build up my self-esteem is to start exercising regularly.

Losing weight is one of my main goals to help myself look better and feel better, so getting on a consistent exercise regimen would help with my goal of losing weight.

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It's all about being smart in the choices you make that will improve your life and not add more chaos and destruction.

Believe me when I say I regret having a consultation with a plastic surgeon because I became dead set on taking out a loan for the surgery, and it made my decision finale.

healing

About the author

JennyB

Freelance content writer and blogger of self-help and personal development articles. 3X Sepsis survivor living with chronic pain and chronic illness.

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