I'll Be Roaring In the 20s

A lot of things have happened this past year, and the next year is looking to be just as eventful, and I was feeling kind of nostalgic and wistful, and also resolved, so I thought I would do a little recap, and speak some of my wishes into the world, in hopes they materialize.

A lot happened in 2019. Some of it fantastically good, some of it fantastically bad. I lost the house I had been living in for years, I quit two jobs that were not conducive to my mental health and general happiness. I started one that I love and am well suited for. I met some of the best friends I have ever had. I spent a summer living in the heart of the international district while slumming it on a friend's couch. I made giant strides toward healing myself. I went to therapy. I was open about my mental health, my flaws, and failures. I continued to build a healthy relationship. I witnessed my beloved Sounders take home their second MLS cup, and at that perfect match, I got engaged to my perfect match. I saw the death of my grandfather.

I have repaired connections with the family I was born into, and been accepted into more than one family that I chose. I moved into a beautiful house with my love, and two of the very best people the world could ever conceive of. I paid off my car, and one of my student loans. I also have been so depressed that I couldn't breathe. I have strengthened my ties with the communities I am a part of, and joined some new ones. I have started a podcast, and had a blast, and I started writing a new book in a way that is new and terrifying and also really exciting. I have made time for me to enjoy things. I have started new traditions with old friends, and fallen into bed laughing, half drunk, and buzzing with elation. I reconnected with my best friend from middle school.

I have also raised my fist in protest. I have shouted in anger, and I have witnessed my country commit terrible crimes against humanity. I have watched otherwise decent people turn and look away rather than fight. I have watched the rise of fascism come again, in the US, but also in the UK, and other countries as well. All in all 2019 was a year the like of which I have never seen.

Here are some of my hopes for 2020:

I hope for peace. I hope for a woman president. I hope that humanity starts to take climate science seriously. I hope that we begin to lead the world with compassion and intelligence. I hope that the camps are liberated. I hope for revolution, for change, for uprising. I hope for love, and understanding, and the eradication of fascism. I hope to see more women and PoC in leadership roles. I hope to see Mitch McConnell ousted. I hope that all my friends that are getting married in 2020 will be happy and successful. I hope that the dreams of my friends come true. I hope that my dear friend gets the kidney they need.

I hope that we radically reform the health care system in the US, and stop gate keeping vital services with paywalls that the poor can't ever hope to overcome. I hope Jeff Bezos is forced to pay taxes. I hope I find a way to make time for myself. I hope that my relationship will continue to grow in love and laughter, and comfort. I hope that my mental health continues to improve. I hope that I don't fall back into destructive patterns. I hope I make good and educated decisions for my body that do not have anything to do with the stigma of looking like I do. I hope that my friends who own businesses are successful. I hope that my podcast is listened to, and my book gets read. I hope to write more poetry, and wear cozier socks.

I hope to make good financial choices, and to love with my whole heart all of the time. I hope it doesn't hurt so bad when I am not loved back. I hope that we as a species learn the difference between appreciating a culture and appropriating it. I hope that the United States pays reparations to black communities, and native nations. I hope the victims of Jeffrey Epstein see justice. I hope the current structure of the police is dismantled, and a system not descended from slave catchers, where equity is possible rises. I hope for adventures, and kisses, and good sex, and good meals. I hope to wrap my arms around the people I love and offer them shelter and comfort. I hope I get to see my mother. I hope to drink more water and less alcohol. I hope I learn how to sleep on a schedule.

I know that not all of this could happen, I know that so much of it is so far out of the realm of reality as to be laughable. But that's what New Years is about isn't it? Reckless optimism?