I AM ME MOVEMENT

I am a single mom of 5 beautiful children and I turned 30 years old last week. For the past 5 years, my children and I were the victims of physical, psychological, sexual, mental, emotional and financial abuse from my ex-husband. As a result, I decided to start what I am calling the "I am me" movement, to empower those who have left abusive relationships or those who may need the strength to get away. I am human and I feel like anyone does. If you cut me, do I not bleed? Yes I do. If you hit me, the bruises may not appear on the outside, but they are there on the inside.

My soul has been scarred, with years of pain. Being torn down, constantly told I am a horrible mom, stupid wife or being compared to healthy marriages, as if it was something I was doing. I thought I loved him. I thought he loved me. I thought our wedding vows meant something--anything--to him. He played me. He played his family, his friends, my family, my friends. He would lie and make excuses. There was never any apology. No gift could make up for the pain he'd inflicted. Instead, I received nothing but excuses. If I had not pissed him off or made him angry or annoyed him, if I had just listened when he told me to do something or if I had listened like good wives do, he would not HAVE to hit me, hit my kids, break furniture, put holes in our houses, hold me hostage in my bedroom, or toss me around like a living room rug. I have to undergo surgery for many of the issues that my ex-husband inflicted on me. My children will need lifelong counseling to heal, as will I. Together we will be strong! We will win the fight and he will have lost the power!

I made the decision to leave one day, before he made good on his threats to kill me. For a month prior, I was hospitalized 5x with vomiting up 1/2 cup blood on a daily basis. I suspected some kind of poisoning because when I left, I mysteriously stopped vomiting blood. After 5 years of abuse, and breakdowns and mental breakdowns, LEAVING him turned out to be the scariest decision I had ever made in that entire time. I am in counseling. I am safe. My children are safe and we are finally happy. For the first time, we are enjoying life. We can go to the park. We can play with friends. I can invite friends over without fear of him hurting someone else's child. I can cook what we WANT, for dinner. I can take a bath, without ASKING permission first. And I realized how many things he was actually controlling in my life--the smallest forms of freedom that had become the gilded bars in my prison--keeping me shut in and locked away, too scared to break away from it. I HAVE THOSE FREEDOMS BACK!!

So, Raise your voices! Show them they no longer have control over us! They can't intimidate us! They can't hurt us any longer! No more will we let them tear us down or make us feel unworthy or insecure or unloved! No longer will we make excuses for their actions! No longer will we be scared of what may happen, constantly living in fear every moment of the day, scared to sleep at night because of what MAY happen! Take the power back! Take control! Tell them they are no longer in control! You are strong! You are beautiful in your own way! Know what you deserve!

BE STRONG!! Know your worth as a person, as an employee, as a friend, as a partner! I am a mother. I am a student. I am a business woman. I am beautiful. I am smart. I am sassy. I am funny. I am an awesome friend. I am honest, loyal and independent. I am creative! I am silly! I AM ME! Who are you?