When one embarks on the journey of self-discovery, one really has no idea what they are really getting themselves into. What starts off as just a gentle curiosity about who and what we truly are turns into a crazy, life-changing journey that will make you see yourself and your life in a completely different way.
My journey has led me to things I never thought possible; I have pushed myself way beyond my comfort zone, and over the past several months I have been facing my fears.
So, what is fear?
Well, fear can come in many shapes or forms, some fears can be bigger than others, while others might seem small and insignificant to one person, but to another person who has the fear, it can completely rule their life.
Fear is just your awareness around a certain topic that you don’t know the outcome to.
The first thing to navigate and beat fear is to be aware of where it comes from.
We generally hold fear in our minds, coming up with some crazy scenarios around that fear that hold us back from the extraordinary lives we are destined to live. Fear is something that we all are able to overcome, and with the proper awareness, it isn't as difficult as we might think.
We ALL experience fear. But it is more a mental construct than a reality.
It’s all in our mind.
So with the topic of fear, let's think about all the things we feel fear about or towards, and write a list of as many as you can possibly think of, and add more as time goes on—trust me, the more fears you have, the better, as that means you have more you get to overcome!!!
I did this exercise several months ago, and I actually took an afternoon and just sat and wrote down in my journal everything that I felt fear towards.
My list was longer than I thought, but once I had written out every fear I could think of, I realized hey, these don't look so bad now that they are written down.
For example, one of my fears was what many others fear, and that is the fear of public speaking.
I sat and thought about it, and I took out the words fear of... and I just was left with public speaking. So what was so fearful about public speaking? Once you take away the fear of something, there isn't much left other than the thing itself.
This is the second part of the exercise, once you have your list of fears, you go through and think about all the reasons this particular thing brings you fear.
For myself, public speaking was fearful because I cared about the thoughts and opinions of others—what if they booed me off stage, what if I forgot my lines, what if this or that happened?
That was when I noticed my mind going down a crazy rabbit hole into things that most likely would never happen in my life, and that's when my awareness towards this fear started to open up and shift.
I realized that I was fearful of public speaking because my mind had a whole bunch of stories of things that could happen, but wouldn't necessarily happen and I was just making things up.
Over time, I have gone through my list of fears, and have checked off most of them at this point. My fear of spiders was simply because spiders move quickly, and they always surprise me when I see them, and that element of surprise turned into fear or anger because a spider should not surprise me in my bathroom sink like they tend to do.
I can't control a spider or its natural tendencies, but the only thing I could do in order to face this fear was to simply observe the spider whenever I saw one. This simple act of observation alone helped me face most of my fears, as I allowed myself to be still in those moments I felt fear, and just observe the moment at hand.
To this day, the fear of spiders is no more, and I actually am happy and excited whenever I see a spider as it is teaching me that I am the creator of my reality, as spiders are powerful creators.
The only difference between fear and excitement is your attitude about it: We can shift it in the same way we can shift any of our thoughts.
When I started to look at my fears with excitement, they turned out to not be so scary after all. When you think about how fear makes you feel, it might make your hands start sweating, your heart starts to race, you might breathe heavier than normal, some of these symptoms are actually not so bad, and can feel the same way that the feeling of love gives you.
Remember: “What you resist persists," so embrace your fear, understand it, write down the reasons for it, prepare, practice, role play, and educate yourself.
Looking at your fears from an open perspective, ready to embrace and conquer them is liberating and beautiful. It's actually remarkable how much us human beings can overcome when we have the awareness to do so.
Fear is something that has been ingrained in us from a very young age on; we are told by our parents to be careful, to play safe, and don't get hurt, and that continues pretty much all our lives.
When we go out on a limb and, say, start a business, everyone tells us to be careful, don't take any risky chances—they try to place their own fears onto us.
Everyone has their own perspective on life, and we all have our own things we are dealing with and trying to overcome. I have found that facing my own fears has by far been the single most empowering thing that I have ever done in my life, and now because I did that work, I feel like I can do absolutely anything!
Think about what you want for your life, not what you don't want. When I ask clients in coaching what they don't want for their life, they are quick to start listing off a number of things they don't want, but then when I flip the question to what they DO want, it's like crickets....
So many people know exactly what they don't want, but they rarely give much thought to what they do actually want, and of course whatever you focus on becomes your reality, your experience. So focus on what you do want, visualize your life without fear and being free to be, do, and have anything you could imagine.
Facing all your fears is a profoundly liberating thing to do, and I write this because for my own life it has helped me dramatically over the past several months that I have been consciously focusing on this, and so I had to share my insights!
Remember, too, that whenever things get hard, and you want to quit, to simply go back to your why.
Why are you doing this? Why are you wanting to overcome and conquer your fears in the first place? Why do you want to become the greatest version of yourself?
If you have not figured out what your why is yet, then I encourage you to go spend some time doing the seven levels deep exercise, which I learned in a book, but here is explained in a video by Dean Graziosi. I'll share it quickly here now because it was a very powerful exercise, that brought me to tears when I decided to dig deeper to figure out the reason why I am doing what I am doing...
Other then that, I hope this post helps! If you have any questions or would like to dive deeper into discovering your own fears so that you can overcome them, then feel free to reach out to me, or book a complimentary discovery call with me so we can have a conversation around this!
Thanks for reading!
With Love and Light,