How to Become the Best Version of Yourself

Some will, some won't, so what? Who's next?

To become the best version of yourself, it starts with not allowing things that are out of your control to have any effect on your mood or mental health. The quote "some will, some won't, so what? Who's next?" is usually motivation for people who sell to others for a living.

However, this can be applied to not wasting your time with people who don't bother to give you any of their time or attention. If someone wants to stay in your life, they will; if they like you, they'll show you.

If an employer wants to hire you, then they will; if they won't there's hundreds of others who would employ you; if friends are real they will be around no matter what mood you're in, even when you're not fun all the time and even when you're going through hard times; if they don't they're not real friends; if someone loves you, they'll show you without you even mentioning it and they will make the effort unwaveringly; some people are meant to stay in our lives, some are meant to come in then leave, some are just not meant to be in our lives at all, and others are just meant to come into our lives then go straight back out.

If it won't matter in 5 years, don't spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it.

Is that situation you're pondering over going to have any purpose in your life in five years time? No? Then don't spend more than five minutes worrying about it before you let it go because it doesn't serve you. You are not worth stressing, crying, drinking, engaging in destructive behaviour, or taking drugs to deal with the situation or problem in your life if it isn't going to matter in five years time. If it doesn't smell right and it doesn't look right... guess what?

It's not right! Leave it in the past where it belongs so it can associate with it's own kind.

Know Your Worth

Let me tell you right now: You were not put on this earth to stress, worry and be depressed. If you're in a difficult situation, just think about where you will be 10 years in the future if you stay in this situation and where you would actually want to be in 10 years time. Each and every one of us is worthy of a genuine and loving relationship.

You are worthy of being surrounded by people who are authentic, loyal, trustworthy, kind-hearted, and who always will have your best interests at heart. You are worthy of someone who will always tell you the truth, who doesn't cheat, someone who doesn't make you doubt your life and question your very existence; people like that cannot and will not add value, nor substance to your life. You don't need that. No one does.

You are not worth friends who, when you're going through hard times, are nowhere to be found, but when your life is finally back on track, they blow up your phone. Those friends are not supportive and that's not true friendship.

You are not worth employers that give everyone else a pay rise, but you. You are not worth staying in a work environment in which you are bullied and nothing is being done about it; go and apply to work somewhere else, where the employees are valued and appreciated.

You are not worth being around people who don't add value and substance to your life, have nothing to offer you, are not supportive of you and your dreams, and only seem to be happy or calm when you are not. That's toxicity, that's not a life where you will feel worthy and you are worthy and deserving of every opportunity in the world.

Of course though, if someone is genuinely trying to help you get better with an issue or problem that you have, then let them—don't push away people like that, because guess what? People like that know your worth before you do. Those people are keepers!

Take Care of Yourself

Taking care of yourself does not just mean getting a haircut when you need it or being pampered when you have the time and money to do so. Taking care of yourself is much much more than that.

Taking care of yourself includes setting boundaries in your life so that you prevent the same negative situations happening over and over again and then wonder why. Taking care of yourself means stepping back and recharging when you need it; it means taking care of your mental health and having some sort of method in place where you effectively know how to cope with the challenges life throws at you. If you're depressed, you must actively seek self-help and inspiration and the help that you need to get through these hard times; if you suffer with anxiety then you need to familiarise yourself with coping techniques and strategies.

Lack of self-respect and self-neglect are best friends. When you look bad, you will also feel bad. A lot of the time, the actual task of pampering or grooming yourself will seem too extensive a task to want to even begin in the first place, but think about how you would feel, days, weeks, or months later, having not completed those tasks.

Don't think of it as "That's too much effort," think of it more as, "My body is a temple and deserves to look good, feel good and smell good all the time." Your body is the one thing you can control no matter what's going on in your life, providing you live in a country where horrendous acts like FGM or other bodily abuse practices are not the norm. Your nails deserve to be manicured, kept trimmed, your hair deserves to be as healthy as can be, your clothes deserve to be stain free, clean and of good quality, your jewellery deserves to be well kept, your outfits and accessories deserve to be kept well maintained.

Even in matters not personal to your immediate self, your finances deserve to be well managed, your friendships are worthy of flourishing and being well maintained, with clear boundaries established, so that your friends know what you are and aren't willing to put up with; you deserve a life that works for you, not everyone else but you, a life that serves your highest purpose and allows you to freely achieve and live up to your fullest potential—the true meaning of life by the way.

I want you to take away two main principles from this: you are worthy and you are deserving, that's what it boils down to.

Don't Run From Your Problems—Life is Not a PacMan Game

I understand why people run from their problems, ignorance is bliss right? As I like to say, "ignorance is bliss until your house is burning down", meaning that you can only ignore your problems for so long before they become impossible to ignore. Imagine if a serial killer had a dead body in their house; the odour after a few minutes wouldn't smell, maybe even after a few days it might not smell too bad, but after weeks, months. That smell will overpower not just a room, but a whole house, the same way if you sweep your problems under the rug, that rug will soon have bumps and things will fall out the more you try to hide them away.

You can run away from the fact you're unemployed, but that means more time not getting to where you want to be, and it means being reliant upon others and potentially even being a financial burden. Allow yourself the freedom that comes from a stable job whilst striking that work-life balance.

You might be running away from leaving a negative relationship because you have low self worth and think you don't deserve better, you may talk yourself into staying because you think that anything is better than to be alone, that could not be further from the truth. If you stay in that situation with that abusive person, you're living with the reality that one day they could damage you beyond repair. This means the right person cannot find you or even attempt to find you and offer you something much better if you cannot see your worth and find a way to leave the situation at the first chance you get because you are worthy of being treated like not just a Prince or Princess, but a King or Queen.

You might be running away from family issues; how does that help maintain a healthy family dynamic? If you tried but failed, this says more about your family, than it does, you. In this case, it would be wise to cut off toxic family members once permanently financially stable.

You might be running away from making a decision about something, if that's the case then weigh up the pro's and con's and no matter what, if the cons are longer than the pro's, remove that person or situation from your life.

Rejection Doesn't Make You, But It Can Shape You

If you've ever been rejected in any way that has hurt you a lot, just remember loneliness will make you feel like you're the only one experiencing this but that could not be further from the truth.

How many people have been fired unfairly? How many people have been rejected when asking someone out or approaching someone? How many people have been rejected when trying to make friends? How many people have been rejected in job applications? How many people have experienced rejection in any way, shape or form?

The answer is everyone, yes even the person you work with that seems to have a perfect life, even the family member whose life you envy and yes even your favourite celebrity or internet personality.

Realising that no one is perfect, but we all want to and should be striving for excellence everyday until we achieve a life that we want. One thing I can promise you, is if you commit to anything wholeheartedly for at least a year, it will pay off.

And that's how you become the very best version of yourself.