How Showers Helped My Depression

Showering! It should be a normal every day or every other day activity, right? Not for some of us. Some of us fight the showers. Some of us can go days and even weeks not showering-on purpose. It sounds strange and a bit childish but some of us can’t help this. For one reason or another some of us will forbid showering to ourselves. We fully believe that showering now is not an option. I’m sure many of us have either felt this way or known someone that has gone through this questionable act.

Now, I can only speak for myself and close friends but one of the reasons for not showering is because of depression. When I feel low, I feel undeserving. Undeserving of smelling good and looking fresh. For whatever reason depression forces me to suffer not only mentally but physically as well. It also feels as though I am punishing myself by not letting myself wash and punishing those around me because I force them to see me be disheveled and unkept. Feeling depressed is such a torturous feeling. Inside our minds we know that we should not be depressed and so we blame our already depressed minds because we know it is stupid to feel this way but can’t help but keep riding the depression for the full wave until we are out of it.

However, I am currently trying everything I can to leave depression, anxiety and overall unhappiness behind. I am trying meditation, journaling, affirmations and other more natural remedies. Now, showering was not on my list as one of the activities to fix my overall mental health, but I found it quite by accident. During one of my low weeks in which I could feel myself getting ready for depression to take over my mind I started to notice the thoughts in my mind. I noticed that I was receiving ideas such as: don’t shower today, don’t brush your teeth, it’s too hard to go outside, sit on the couch and watch tv for the whole day. These ideas are not new. I will usually listen to these thoughts and give up on life and myself because I’m depressed. But this time around I was very aware of the changes happening to me. Somehow my mind was of two minds. I knew what was happening to me and I decided to do something about it

Whenever I had a thought, I decided I would do the exact opposite. This is hard thing to do, this is not easy especially because my mind and body seemed to form a team when depression hit. I had to mentally kick myself and push myself and while my head was trying to convince me that I did not need a shower, I did the exact opposite. I got in the shower with a grin on my face. I was not happy, and I even felt like I was going to cry but I still pushed myself in there. I showered and came out. Now, here was the interesting part. When I came out of the shower, my thoughts were different. My body also felt different. Did the shower literally wash away my sadness or negativity? I was dumbfounded. How can a shower which normally only cleanses my body help my depression? Or was it simply because I broke the pattern? I did the opposite of what my depression wanted me to do, and I maybe broke the cycle that was going to start? I don’t know.

I have researched online and found that others that suffer with depression also noticed that showers cause a major change in their mood. Maybe it is because in our mind we feel that the water washes away our tears and gives us a fresh start. Maybe it is because we are opposing our mind and deciding that we oversee our bodies and will not listen to the dark and negative commands that our minds can conjure up. I also believe that the reason I was able to push myself and notice the changes a simple shower can make is because of my meditation and constant search for mental relief. Little by little I am overcoming my mind and now combined with a healthy hygienic routine my depression is less and less. It is still there of course because it seems to be a part of me but with all these things that I am discovering is making my depression appear less frequently and a bit milder.