How Books Kept Me Alive
A Book a Day Keeps the Loneliness Away
Reading is something very important for a human being. We have to keep reading, in order to let our soul grow and grow even more.
This is a small piece of my life, when books saved me from the black hole inside my mind.
A book a day keeps the loneliness away, I always say.
I have always been a loner. I never liked to be surrounded by people, especially after everything I have been through.
I mean, I had a dysfunctional family, I was bullied at school and I was overweight because I felt happier when I ate, I felt as the hole inside of me was being filled by calories and chocolate.
I had a friend until I was 11-years-old. Then, she turned her back on me and I still can’t understand why. I loved her so much, she was like a sister.
I felt so alone that every night I cried and begged any kind of God to put an end to my painful existence.
I hated everything about me and about the people around me.
Lucky me, I always loved reading.
My room was full of books, I had shelves that were literally overflowing with books of any kind: from Romance to Fantasy, from Sci-Fi to Historical essays.
As soon as I started to read, all my struggles were gone, I wasn’t myself anymore but I was the hero saving the galaxy, the Hobbit bringing the Ring to Mordor and the lucky girl who met the love of her life just casually walking down the street.
I remember clearly when I started to realize what books were doing to my damaged soul; I was 14-years-old, I was attending a lesson at school and my classmates were making fun of my clothes and how fat I was. They were calling me “the whale who can talk like a human”, teenagers can be very mean and, as everybody knows, words hurt more than swords. In that specific moment, I felt the need to cry and to lock myself in my room. I didn’t want to make a scene, so in order to avoid tears I thought “ok, I need to keep busy”. I picked Harry Potter from my backpack and I started to read. In less than three minutes, I was in a different world, learning spells and brewing potions. I couldn’t hear my classmates anymore, their voices were just a muffled sound in the back of my mind.
I was happy.
I thought “now I know what is like to be high”.
That same afternoon I went to the bookshop, I felt the need to buy more of that aphrodisiacal substance.
I started to talk with the young guy, son of the owner of the place. We talked for two hours about books, writers and how good is the smell of inked pages. Oh, God. I love that smell so much, I think they should make a perfume out of it.
Every time I sniff it, in my brain, there is an explosion of pleasure, good feelings and colours.
Books were giving me what I never had: a safe place where I could run whenever I felt too overwhelmed with the world outside.
From those inked pages I learnt about love, friendship, folklore and emotions. I grew up with them and I started to write because I wanted to create my own world, my own love and my own life. The life I always dreamed about.
I read so much about strong girls leading their own destiny that I decided to be one of them.
I developed a strong character and I fought for myself. In the end, I felt like Hermione Granger when she slapped Malfoy.
Reading is an act of love toward yourself. When you start a book or a comic, you are giving your brain a way to open more and more. You are giving yourself the possibility to develop your own way of thinking.
But, especially, you are gifting your soul with the best thing humans could ever invent: words.
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