Hi, I'm Weird, Nice to Meet You

For the past several years, I've been making jewelry. I started out with recycling things, but it didn't look like fashionable jewelry. Then it turned into beads, which was much more fashionable but it was cliche and boring. Then it turned into an expression of my art through jewelry, by using clay, resin, and real bugs. The recycling things and expressing myself awakened what I loved as a child. Crafting! I used to make miniature chairs out of paper, and make wall Christmas trees for the kids so we could gift each other our toys that we already had. It made me so excited. The person I thought I had lost, she was back! The more research I did on people making their own jewelry, I began to find unique things. I found that you could put almost anything in resin. My favorite thing became putting dragonflies, bumblebees, lady bugs, butterflies, and any other beautiful insect I could put into resin, to make jewelry out of it. A lot of work goes into to them, and I was thinking this is so freaking awesome! But the more I went to my venues and the more crafty things I was making, I began to get "Oh, this is very unique" "This is very different" "It's kind of weird". Like they were trying to be nice but they were like no sweety this is not were it is at.

So, naturally lately I've been back and forth with myself. Eclectic, weird, unique, weird, one of a kind, weird, abnormal, weird. I even found myself gifting someone one of my bugs, and trying to prep them for it being "weird or unique" before they opened it. She ended up loving it by the way—it's in the picture above. Of course, it is important to be your own person in a society filled with people trying to fit the status quo. Don't get me wrong, I pride myself on a person finding jewelry in my collection that they wouldn't find anywhere else. But I've also been the person who goes in the corner 'cause no one understands me.

I tend to be all over the place when it comes to art, I find multiple ways to express myself. I like to draw; from cartoon figures all the way to human models out of a magazine. I've learned how to cross stitch, I can do a little sewing, and i can do basic knitting. I paint, I love to sing, and I've found myself writing music. And let's not forget the jewelry making. The right hemisphere has taken over here, and I tend to get "I should be specific and stick to one thing" from other people's opinion. Part of me agrees, but the other part of me feels like if I can put my mind to it, why not do it!

I've found that when I come out of my shell and be "normal" to people who are not genuinely trying to get to know me, I tend to say things "off the wall" and then I get stares. Furthermore, life is boring without throwing a few curve balls into a conversation, and sometimes I say awkward things without thinking because it sounds so cool and funny in my head. I'll even break out in a song in the middle of a conversation, if something you've remotely said reminds me of a song.

I think it's very difficult to not be able to hide my eclectic side, and other days I think it's really cool that no matter how much I stray or try to "fix" myself, the genuine me never leaves. She is always there to remind me that I just have to accept myself. At times it's hard being the only you, but at the same times it's awesome that there is no one else like me. I've been on a journey to loving myself. "I am her, she is me."