What a violent way to end. With my heart in a jar, sitting in a dusty shelf in some weirdo’s office... that is not what happened. And I am very much alive. Truly alive, as some would say... this is not Once Upon a Time (TV show, not for kids—thank you, ABC), where you can just rip someone’s heart out with them still breathing, alive and well. This is not about a jealous step mother seeing her step daughter, and wanting nothing more than her heart, so she could just be done with this narrative. No. My apologies to those who enjoy such stories (I am one of them). I’m speaking in a more figurative fashion. I put my heart in a jar, because it was causing a little too much trouble, and I saw where it was leading... nowhere.
Feeling betrayed?
I feel a lot. I know a lot of people do. We were created to feel, to live and love deeply and beautifully. But, too often, our hearts get us in trouble or we’re tired of feeling, of emotion, or pain. It was our hearts that got us there in the first place, right? That’s when we want to tear our own heart out, just to stop the pain. How can such extreme emotions come from within us? And how could our emotions betray us to the point of wanting to go to such lengths? Because. “The heart is deceitful above all things. Jeremiah 17:9.”
I’m going to repeat that again before this article ends, because I finally think I understand it better than I once did. I was once befuddled by this. How can the heart we are taught to follow as children be deceitful? How could it betray us?
Here’s the explanation you’ve been waiting for (from my perspective).
Why? Why? Why
Sometimes, I have to put my heart in a jar because life is tough, and I’m a fighter. My heart will stay in the jar if it will cause me to fight for the wrong things, which will turn into losing battles. If it causes me to be selfish and jealous, I can’t let it have its way. The heart is deceitful above all things, after all.
They tell us to follow our hearts, but where are our hearts leading us? Down a path we’ll regret? A path of broken friendships, relationships, and dreams? If our dreams become intertwined with the incredible path for our life, we hopefully wont stumble, and even if we do, hopefully we can get back up again. So, when I say I’m putting my heart in a jar to make this decision, or when the color green (jealousy) starts to creep in and I quickly close the lid on the jar, it’s not because I’m torturing myself or not allowing myself to have emotion. It’s because, often, what I feel isn’t true or right, if it’s “me”-centered. Life isn’t all about me, and that’s who my heart tries so hard to only look out for sometimes. So, when I close the lid on that jar, I trust that living my life determined to change lives for good will direct me where I need to go, and how I need to handle each situation. It’ll be based on more than just a feeling of me being hurt because it’s not going my way. It’ll be an aspect that can help others, or benefit and change the world for good. And, yes, I believe that everything you do can impact the world, whether it’s an incredible or devastating impact. That’s up to you, and if you decide to follow the incredible path for your life. Just know that impacting one person, either way, will change the world. Because, then, they’ll go impact others, and you’ll have created a ripple effect.
About the Creator
Daisy Ray
I believe the world can be changed simply through the power of a smile.
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