Happiness

If you've been one of my readers for a while now, you would know I had a really rough time in the past year. I haven't ever taken time for myself after the breakup with my ex back in late 2017. I've been trying to better myself and do good by myself now though and I think I'm finally on the right path towards it. I'm on the path of happiness now, and I can't wait to see how far I'll get and how I'll end up.

It's only been about 2 months since I started to really focus on myself but I'm already seeing the changes. I'm able to love myself more, I'm happy being by myself again, I'm able to relax without worrying about other people. Yes, it is strange with everything that has happened in the past year but I know that it's going to get better.

Having conversations with people that help you become a better version of yourself helps. Having conversations with people that want to see you succeed instead of fail helps. You need to be surrounded by people who only want what's best for you and won't break off communication with you when things get rough or won't tell you what they're thinking because they "don't want to have that conversation." If they truly and honestly care for you, they would be there for you through thick and thin.

If something happens between you, things may not bounce right back but they will still be by your side and will want to see you advance in life no matter where it takes you. They only want to see you happy and want to see you succeed.

And never worry about what other people are doing. Focus on yourself. If you feel like you're not doing enough for yourself then sit down and think about what you can do better.

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In the past few weeks, I've started my second semester of sophomore year. I still can't believe that I'm a sophomore! Like, WHAT???

There have been a few rough bumps so far but I'm good.

I've talked with people, I've gotten closer to some, I've learned to be okay with being alone. I'm getting over my anxiety of eating alone. I'm getting better. I've reconnected with people I haven't spoken to in a while. And the reason I'm able to do all of this is because over my winter break I focused on what was truly important; my happiness, my family, my future. I'm focusing on what makes me, me.

I signed a lease to move off-campus with one of my friends next year. I'm pushing my dad to please, finally, get me a car so I won't have to rely on someone else at all times.

I'm focusing on me.

I'm thinking about graduating early...

I'm also thinking about taking the time and enjoying my college experience because once I'm out I can never get this time back.

I'm thinking about my future.

I'm thinking about myself.

I'm thinking about my family and friends.

I'm thinking about my parents...

My parents who want to move to Florida...

Thinking if I want to go along...

Thinking I probably will.

Moral of the story is: Life throws you curveballs, but you've got to learn how to deal with them. You have to analyze what's coming at you, how and when to swing, whether the wind is going to play a vital part in where the ball goes, and once you stopped analyzing... you swing, and you run to first and you keep running until you make it to home base.

So smile and laugh.

Be sad and cry.

Be mad and punch a pillow.

You'll get your heart broken, you'll get into some complicated situations...

But, if I learned anything from my journey so far... it's this: The situation is never truly complicated, we as humans make them complicated.

So, let's stop overthinking. Let's stop overanalyzing. Let's just breathe and enjoy the ride.

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It's been actually a little over five months since I've been focusing on myself. I wrote this sometime in January :)