Growing Up - A Love/Hate Story

When did I get so old?

Growing Up - A Love/Hate Story
Thanks for the perfect image Pexels

Mid-20s. It's a weird time, isn't it?

"It's the time of your life."

"I remember my mid-20's, I was in my prime."

"Well, that's the age you're at. Friends get married, have babies, that's what happens!"

As a woman now closer to 30 than 20, I am realizing a lot about myself, my life, my body, and my mind. It seems every week I feel different, I've started my career (again) and everyone around me is growing up. But, at the same time, I don't feel like an adult. I pay my bills, I live on my own, I take care of myself and can make all my own decisions, but there is still a part of my mind that isn't ready to grow up.

I can't run as fast as I used to, hangovers are a thing I experience (and not just a headache I can shake off with some brunch, I mean 2-day long, can't get out of bed from one night out kind of hangovers), I can't eat whatever I want without worrying about my health or my waistline, and I get excited when toilet paper goes on sale at the store.

This, so I'm told, is growing up.

But there is another thing about growing up that I think is really important to keep in mind, and that is not growing up.

Let me explain.

We get so bogged down in all of the above - finances, jobs, bills, sales. Lather, rinse, repeat. 9-5, home, repeat. Yes, these are all wonderful things, and really, what we are taught to prepare for at a young age, but it is really important to not grow up too fast.

I've always known I was a creative person, a bit of a wild child. But as I get older, I think about it more and more, I let my thoughts get the best of me and overthink a lot of my processes. This is a habit, in my opinion, that is crucial to recognize and break as a creative person.

I can remember being a kid and always trying new things, always taking risks, always making those mistakes. These mistakes lead me into a creative field, and allowed me to pursue my passion, but as I grow, all my moves seem more calculated moving towards the bigger picture that is being what is defined as an adult.

The love/hate relationship I have with being an adult is not the life I've built, but the creative road blocks that becoming an adult have put in front of me. The routine of eat, sleep, work, repeat. The routine of comparing my adult life to the adult lives of my friends. Seeing growing up as a challenge instead of an opportunity to do better and take my experiences and apply them to my creative endeavors. Being in my mid-20s has really made me reflect on the past 10 or so years of my life where I had so many shifts and experiences that I didn't use to my advantage.

But the best part about being a young/old soul is taking all my thoughts and applying them to something amazing. Striving to maintain my creativity, seeing the positive in life, and moving towards the goal of not just being an adult, but being the most fun, wild, creative, and interesting adult I can be.

So here it is, it starts here. Writing, expression, and community. Blabbing on in a stream of conscious writing session on the internet.

How do you feel about growing up?

self help
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Samantha Fernandez
See all posts by Samantha Fernandez