Goal Setter. Goal Getter.

2020, you’re dead to me. And yes, it’s personal.

For the past five or so years, I’ve been an avid goal setter and goal getter. I love that feeling of crossing out a goal, knowing I completed it and giving myself that sense of “wow, you are a productive member of society.” Last year was no different. I was going to save money, travel more, find a great job, and get in the best shape of my life because damn it, I was turning thirty. Ha. Yeah. I didn’t achieve any of that. And I know I’m not alone. The worst year ever really maintained the consistency of spoiled milk that no one wanted to deal with, so they just left it in the fridge.

I’d be lying if I said NOTHING good came out of the year. I became well acquainted with my depression and anxiety, and by my thirtieth birthday I had started taking anti-depressants. My man and I moved into a beautiful two-bedroom apartment. I flew to Maine for a week to be with family. And I landed a second job for extra income at a woman-owned business. So yeah, the year wasn’t a complete dumpster fire explosion. It just wasn’t a goal getting type of year. That being said, let’s swing right into 2021 with a clean slate.

I made it two weeks into 2021 before I got COVID.

Okay fine, we will start the clean slate at the end of January, 2021. So, let’s dive right in... slowly... no sudden movements.

I like to set goals by specific categories: personal development, family, financial, social, physical, career, and spiritual. I’m an atheist, so the last one is generally focused more around mental health, but I still consider that spiritual because over the years I’ve come to learn that for many, mental and spiritual go hand-in-hand.

Let’s start with personal development (PD), a personal favorite. I’m a sucker for a good self help or PD book. Rachel Hollis is my girl! Reading for me has always been an agreeable activity, so naturally I’ve added a book to my PD goal. This year’s choice is Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. As someone who cares entirely too much about what people think of them and is a textbook people pleaser, I think it’s time that I learn to “not give a fuck.” This is a two-part category though, because as a millennial I am entirely not a tech savvy person and this has repeatedly harmed me in a professional aspect. Funny because we invented cyber bullying. So, I am also adding “become proficient in Excel” to my PD goal. I know, I know, really thrilling stuff, but let’s be honest, I’m thirty years old and it’s time to tear that band aid off.

F is for Family. My family consists of my man and my dog daughter, aka my pride and joy. I’ve always been a big picture taker, capturing moments whenever I could to immortalize them. Since I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed a drastic decline in my photography, not really opting to snap memories into focus. I'm taking more photos this year to capture those moments that I just can’t let go of. I won’t stop there though because as a product of an arts and craft boomer, I’m going to take it to the next level and put my collaging skills to work. It’s time to bring back the scrapbooking! Take all of my money Hobby Lobby.

Here comes the category that has caused not only immeasurable stress, but is also a top reason for marital strain. Financially, I’ve faired pretty well. I can boast that I’m extremely good at saving money because that is the hard truth. Do I have a good paying job? No. Did I go to school and get a useful degree? No. Did I go to school and acquire crushing student debt? Absolutely. But any little amount I’ve had leftover or been gifted, I’ve been mindful to squirrel away. We, my man and I, have decided it’s time to save for a purpose, and our purpose is Ireland. It happens to be the land of my people, but my lover has never traveled outside of the United States and we need to change that. This is a “we” goal and we are going to save at least $1000 this year (not enough to travel to Ireland, I’m well aware), but it’s a starting point.

The financial goal doesn’t stop there. Oh no, no, no ma’am. I am going to decrease my financial stress by also focusing on bettering my career. I enjoy both of my jobs very much and the people I work with, but I find myself in a constant state of discontent and looking for more in a setting that doesn’t offer any advancement. My big picture goal for my career category is to “land” a financially and professionally rewarding job, preferably in leadership development. However, it has come to my attention in recent years that I am, reluctantly, very good at sales. Previously I wouldn’t have been receiving to this notion, but in my wiser years I’ve learned to accept certain things, like the fact that I am indeed good at selling products so long as I believe in the product. Maybe my dream career will be in sales, but it will be what I need and what my family needs.

Mental health was a big theme last year, forcing me to come head-to-head with my depression. I had “successfully” kept it at bay for a long time, simply adopting the mindset that I was fine and had everything handled. I wasn’t. Not even a little. I think I had known for a while that I wasn’t okay and I was slowly slipping into the shadows. My man was really the one that motivated me to start taking care of myself emotionally. He didn’t really know how to “handle my situation” and that’s okay because sometimes you really have no clue what to do for someone with depression. However, he successfully encouraged me to seek out a doctor and to start taking medication. And wow! I am so grateful for having someone who loves me enough to help me advocate for myself.

My yearly goals compliment my mental health, but specifically revolving around social, physical, and “spiritual” (non-religious). I had thought myself to be an anti-social person, preferring the company of my dog to actual people. Uhhh, yeah no. Last year, the year we shall not speak of, taught me that I do, in fact, need social interaction. For 2021’s social resolution, I will seek out more opportunities to enjoy my hometown, such as going to local bars and restaurants I haven’t been to, or food festivals because I enjoy stuffing my gob. Activities that will get me out of the house. More importantly, I need to start giving back and I’ll do that by finding a volunteer group to spend my free time with. The city I live in has a dog rescue that seeks volunteers to actually run with the dogs. Pleeeassseeee take all of my free time!

Staying physically active has proven to not only help my physical health (… duh), but I also stay exponentially grounded when I workout consistently. This is a delicate one though because in the past that I've beaten myself up if I fall short on my workout goals. So, I haven’t set anything specific, but rather when I move my body for an hour in a day a few times a week, then that’s good enough for me. Maybe I’ll throw something exciting in there like “run a 5K”, but no one ever tells you that it’s downhill after twenty-five and you can’t drink a bottle of wine and then get up and workout for two hours. Rude.

Like I mentioned before, spiritual is something that means taking care of my mind and body. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, you can’t help other people. That’s a hard truth I’ve finally stopped ignoring. It’s okay to not be okay, but it’s not okay to not take care of yourself. Bettering myself mentally and physically means that I can be a better person for my family and friends, for the people I love. Yeah, last year was ten years worth of crap crammed into a Ziploc sandwich bag, but we made and we are here. I'm rooting for you. The world is rooting for you.

Set them goals, sis.