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Get Unstuck: Stop Believing the Negative Stories You Tell Yourself

"You may not be in control of everything that happens to you, but you can decide not to be overwhelmed by them." ~ Maya Angelou

By S.KPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Get Unstuck: Stop Believing the Negative Stories You Tell Yourself
Photo by Biel Morro on Unsplash

We’ve all done it, haven’t we? Somehow, somewhere, something bad happened to us and from that moment on we kept telling ourselves the story of what might and may not go wrong in the future.

For me, the worst pattern I have ever come from is the separation of my parents. For as long as I can remember, I have been a straight person. When I was a child I was happy — I was lucky, nothing bothered me much, and life was very good.

Also, being the only child I always had a close relationship with my parents. The thought of not being able to be together is something that has never entered my mind.

Then they broke up when I was 18 and things started to change. I made different choices and began to believe that all romantic relationships had been destroyed.

A few years later, shortly after I broke up with my longtime partner, I was in LA spending the afternoon watching US Daytime TV. Not much was open, but all the channels I've clicked seem to spell the word "marriage" or "divorce."

It also happened that I read Wayne Dyer's Your Sacred Self at the time, and all of a sudden it all made sense:

I've always told myself stories like "Marriages never last" and "All relationships will end," and I've actually built my own truth.

Eventually I realized that my beliefs about relationships were causing me to pull off that straightforward experience.

I empowered these negative stories and acted on them. I was skeptical that I would be able to have a successful and happy relationship, which made me see everything that could be ruined. I eventually started our breakup because I believed that it was inevitable.

What happens to us that we fear continues to recur if we continue to focus on them and empower them. We must know and begin to change ourselves if we want our truth to change.

Now that I have been a few years old, I have changed my beliefs about relationships that do not exist and new ways of thinking positively.

Now, I believe that my relationship exists as a lifelong relationship and as a result, I act in a way that reflects that kind of relationship without worries and doubts. I am committed to my part of the relationship, and because I have a positive attitude I bring my sacrifice to the table. This allows my partner and I to gain confidence and faith as we plan our lives together.

Our experiences reflect our beliefs, so it is beneficial for us to build them up.

Here are a few questions to help you get to the root of your negative beliefs so that you can make changes in your life:

1. What bad news have you been telling yourself?

Is there a place in your life where you seem to be struggling? What experiences cause negative thoughts?

It's time to dump her and move on.

2. Where do bad ideas come from?

What happened in the past? Has anyone in the administration ever commented negatively on you holding on to it?

Just know that you can't change what happened or what someone else says to you or about you. But you have the power to make the decision not to let that experience control your life at this moment.

3. Why do you cling to such negative beliefs?

What requirements do you have for adhering to these beliefs? For example, do you get attention by playing a victim?

By not giving up negative beliefs, we keep ourselves trapped in a vicious cycle, repeating the same pattern over and over again. Life will continue to give us lessons until we learn, grow, and go through it.

We need to make changes within ourselves in order to move forward and move on to new truths.

4. What does the future hold for you if you abandon these beliefs?

Close your eyes and imagine your future if you did not have these thoughts. Be aware of all the wonderful things you are doing to yourself by holding on to your negative beliefs.

What can you do right now to move on to that future?

Adherence to past experiences and old beliefs gives you excuses for continuing to repeat the same behavior. It puts you in a bad mood and keeps you in that loop.

It’s time to break the pattern and realize that you have the power to fix your reality!

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About the Creator

S.K

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