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From Self-Loathing to Self-Love

A Modern Take on the Hero's Journey

By Michael ThielmannPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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The work of Alex Grey is worth a thousand of my words.

Humanity is at a crucial point in our evolutionary trajectory. We now have the information and ability to heal the wounds of the past and move forward like never before. All the avenues are open to us, but we can get stuck in various patterns and tendencies that can slow us down, such as addiction and codependency.

In my view, the basic problem is a fundamental sense of self-loathing that has been compounding for many generations. Think about some of the messages in modern civilization. We are often taught about how flawed, defective, and problematic we are. We're made to feel inferior to prompt us to buy products and services. (But we all knew that already). The idea that there is something fundamentally wrong with us is a subtle yet powerful idea that needs to be faced head on before it can be uprooted and discarded.

It is not as though most of us go around consciously saying things like, "I hate myself," although I have certainly worked with clients who have fallen into that level of despair and existential anguish.

For most of us, it is more of an uneasy undercurrent that runs through our lives. There is a sort of shadow that has yet to be acknowledged and healed that can almost take on a life of its own. This is what we see when seemingly 'normal' people act out in various unconscionable ways in society.

The key is to start recognizing and integrating our shadow side before it becomes a problem. This is a huge part of humanity's path of self-healing that often goes overlooked. Just like kids who are afraid of going into a dark and musty basement, we can be afraid to face the pain within us.

I have often likened the healing process to paying off our emotional debt. No one particularly enjoys having to gradually settle a financial or emotional debt, but we have a sense that our discipline and willingness to do so will pay off in the long run.

That is really what it all boils down to; are we ready, willing, and able to delay instant gratification and make the long-term investment in our own happiness and fulfillment? That is a question that can stay with us as we move through the difficulties in our lives.

I set aside a few times every day where I just sit with myself and go through whatever mental or emotional debris that might be just beneath the surface. waiting to be faced and acknowledged. The more we're willing to love ourselves through this process the easier it will become. The conditioned reflex is to try to "jump over" the pain and get to the good stuff. This is the equivalent of getting a new credit card instead of paying off the old one.

If the conditioned ideas we have picked up from society really worked, everyone would be much happier and better off by now. The truth is we have been sold a lot of ideas that sounded good in the short-term, but left us yearning for real connection and a deeper meaning in our lives.

The real prize in the healing journey is our own fulfillment in realizing and actualizing our highest potential. We have been habitually distracted by different fears, desires, and relationships that may have overstayed their welcome. Now, more than ever, people are waking up to the importance of simplifying their lives and getting back to the core of who they really are.

The world has given us many experiences, both pleasurable and painful. Ultimately, it is up to all of us to uncover and realize the peace and stability that rests beyond the endless ups and downs of life. We are what we have been searching for in the world, but we may have to go through some old pains and traumas in our journey of self-discovery.

Thank you for joining me in this exploration where the invitation to move into greater self-love is always at hand.

www.seedsoflove.ca

self help
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About the Creator

Michael Thielmann

I am an addiction and mental health counsellor living in Salmon Arm British Columbia. I love engaging with people about overcoming any challenges in their life and being vulnerable and open about my own process as well. <3

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