For the Sake of Having an Independent Voice
Late Night Thoughts
Despite being somewhat stuck in a dead end job where my opinions are undervalued or ignored altogether, I’ve yet continued to write journalistic pieces of my own, aspiring to journal about my adventures in photography or the ideas I have for projects soon to be published and enacted out into action. There’s other things I’d rather do to be honest.
I’m at my regular job for a reason, just the same as any regular person has settled for less than what was desired, for the sake of bringing a stream of money into my life to fund my projects I’ve got planned, however, that plan has somewhat backfired.
Not only am I working so much I barely have anytime to look after the projects and act on them because of my chaotic, packed schedule working endless hours but the funding is lackluster.
Majority of it is going to my payment for my laptop I had to purchase by making monthly payments because my previous one running nearly a decade in age was close to biting the dust, and I’m happy to write I’m not far from the “finish” line of that bill.
What freezes me right away is if I quit my job, what would happen to that stream of income that’s been steadily coming in?
The answer has been proven everyday I come into work, I feel a sense of impatience and just wanting to go home dedicating my time to working on those projects I’ve wanted to work on instead of wasting more precious time at my current job. I’d prefer to spend time journaling my experiences in photography because, spoiler alert, it has taken me through such an interesting journey.
At my regular job, I just feel like another rain drop in the puddle. Constantly I’m at the mercy of whatever customer is in front of me so if they choose to be disrespectful to me, I have no choice but to swallow my fury and frustration as if it was a piece of chewed out bubble gum. Sometimes it’s a breeze and I come off of feeling this kind of “worker’s high” where after doing around so much movement, I’m grateful to have sweated away a couple pounds or two because if it’s anything, I’m starting to love taking lengthy or at least an appropriate portions of walks. Lately, I’ve been working myself to the bone it’s been difficult to take time to walk in peace without this constant, antsy feeling I have to be somewhere later during the day. Hardly is there any time for me to work on the slightest detail of the projects because I’m too burnt out to do them or I’m working so much I’m catching up on my sleep.
I decided to take out my journal, and jotted more projects to do in addition to revising some of the ones I had already written down, deciding somehow the door would open for me to work more on them.
When I saw advertisements spanning everywhere in my social media pages for a particular website, a light bulb had gone off thinking to myself, “this could work and I hope it works.” Now here we are, leading me to write my first entry in a public journal many would see and I anticipate many would enjoy these light reads. I can’t help but to think maybe this is the doorway into creating those passion projects after sometime of them being just a mere concept in the scope of my mind.
Not long ago, there was an exciting camera announcement from Canon which I’m planning to upgrade by the end of the year. Haven’t been excited to upgrade in a few years.
Beginning of a New Chapter
Loosely have I used this phrase “starting a new chapter” throughout my life, this time’s different. The best way I can explain is I’ve learned not to make the same mistakes as I had before where I’m paying attention to the lack of my goals being present because there’s always two sides to every coin. Where there’s hot water and cold water, there’s the opposite of your current reality.
Based on that philosophy, I’d much rather have my attention drawn to the presence of my goals as they’re already with me and in my reality. Like everything, there’s a gestation period for the metaphysical ideal to translate into one of a physical incarnation. From writing this, I cannot ignore this positive “high” I’m feeling knowing this is just the beginning of something great. There’s just this sense of magical, golden dust fluttering around my heart. I know what you’re thinking, what kind of pot are you on? Let me explain this the best way I can, I’m sure everyone has had a joyous moment in their lives where as something as playing around with their dog or cat, something small in life such as a drinking a cup of coffee while having the place being quiet and pleasant as ever, where you just feel a moment of pure gratitude though it is a fleeting moment for most in any case you take the time to appreciate it.
It’s the same way I’m feeling sitting here writing this piece.
The wonderful, abundant feeling of starting something new knowing my writing skills might take me on a similar path as what photography has taken me through and will continue to.
The beginning of this chapter started in gaining a new vision for a photography brand I’d follow, deciding to upgrade my methods of shooting photos, editing them, and showcasing only the best.
So following this new vision for a new brand to market under, I spent nearly an entire hour creating this logo I had in mind in the stock paint program loaded into my laptop. Not to honk my own horn, but I think it’s spiffy. Came out better than I thought considering the fact that I’ve had my patience tested during the process because of little, wrong turns here and there such as missing the border line having to undo that little action and starting again, but patience prevailed.
Shortly after, I put together a moderate portion of photographs I think would suffice to this new level of photography and in this new direction I’m taking it in.
Thoughts of writing stories about my adventures in capturing some of my most recognizable photographs to date in my catalog. Maybe poetry here and there.
Whatever the case maybe, I’m sure my writing journey’s going to be amazing in its own right.
Starting right here. I hope for you and many readers to accompany me on this fascinating journey I’m about to embark starting with this written piece.